Masking Misery
by kmarie96
Summary: When Slade comes back for bigger and better plans, who will suffer? Discover how Raven has dealt with the emotional turmoil within herself. Major BBxRae. Some RobStar? And CyBee? Might have to change rating to M? Going to try not to. Sorry that I suck at summarizing.
1. Back Ground Information

Before reading this story, there are a few things that need to be cleared up so you are able to understand what I will be talking about. If you are uneducated when it comes to self harm, this story will seem almost meaningless to you, if not stupid. Also, there is a trigger warning for self harmers reading this story and the content below. I am not glorifying self harm, but I am giving a better understanding of it through this story. That is my intent at least.

Self harm is not just cutting ones self, though that is what I will be dealing with (perhaps other forms, I have not gotten that far yet), but it is also bruising, burning, scratching, being anorexic, and bulimic. I may have left a few out, but those are the major ones. When a self harmer undergoes stress, it feels like a physical weight on their body, whether it feels like a literal weight on the shoulders or a twisting of their stomach, the pain from their emotions has to be removed. When they self harm, this emotional pain is released. And I know what you're thinking: Doesn't harming yourself hurt just as bad, if not worse? It doesn't feel like it hurts the self harmer in most circumstances; even if it does, it is usually a different pain they are feeling, and anything, to them, is better than the hurt the emotions they are feeling at the moment are causing them.

**Self harm is not a suicide attempt.** People self harm because they don't want to die-it is a coping mechanism for those who were not taught how to deal with their emotions and feelings properly. There are people who self harm that do commit suicide, but the two do not go hand in hand. And there are people who kill themselves through their wrists, but I highly doubt most people would want to die that way-not even self harmers. It is much to painful for most.

People who self harm aren't "Emo". What the hell is Emo anyway? Anyone can self harm. Girls, guys, children, the elderly, people of all races, nationalities, and backgrounds. It is found in them all. Also, I did not pick Raven as the self harmer because she is Goth. I could have easily chosen any other Teen Titan. Robin due to the pressure of being the leader. Starfire because she is torn between wanting to be on earth, but desperately missing her home where she fits in. Cyborg because he is half machine and would like to feel something that associates himself with being human. Beast Boy because of the pain from the trauma he endured as a child, such as seeing his parents die right in front of him, as well as trying to contain The Beast which is inside him. Raven, however, is my favorite. I am also going to be able to play greatly with the way her emotions and Nevermore are set up. It just clicks for me.

Self harmers don't usually self harm for attention. There are those who do, but in most cases, it is more a cry for help. These people do not how to put their hurt and the seriousness of the pain they are feeling into words, so they show it on their body. Most of those who cut (burn, bruise, etc.-I will replace the words "self harm" with "cut" or "cutting" frequently, but keep in mind that self harm is not limited to this) hide their cuts. It is a shameful act and one that most all fear to give up.

Those who cut cannot "just stop."** There is science behind self harm.** When you self harm, endorphins are released, making it a physical addiction. It is like a different kind of drug, and the more you do it, the more you need. Some get to the point that they don't even need to be triggered to cut. They just get an urge out of nowhere and have to act on it.

Trigger: Something that causes a self harmer to partake in self harm. It could be a picture of cuts they have seen online, a situation that made them sad/angry, anxiety/stress, fear, etc.

**Self harm is largely about control.** Many of those who cut do so because they need something they can control while the rest of their life is in chaos. They can control the pain, what their tools (what they self harm with) are, etc. When a cutter cuts too deep or nicks themselves by accident, it is something devastating to them. It was not their intention and is something feared-this also goes against the control they so desperately desired in the first place.

You cannot guilt trip or yell at someone until they stop cutting, just like you cannot do so which an alcoholic someone who is addicted to drugs. Along with drug addiction and alcoholism, the self harmer has to want to stop their cutting to get help. Also, **never take away a self harmer's tools.** This will not get them to cease cutting. They may find something worse to harm with, esp. if they are a dissociative self harmer.

Dissociative Self Harm: When a self harmer is unaware that they are in the act of self harming. They blackout and awaken with the marks of what they did. My personal opinion as to why this happens is the person feels so much guilt for their harming, yet still feel like they need to cut, burn, etc. so their mind lets them do both.

People can harm themselves with anything. For cutters, they can break apart soda tabs and use them, scissors, knifes, broken glass, etc. The more desperate they feel in a situation they are in without their tools, the more desperate the harming tool they find becomes. For example, it is easy for a cutter in school to stick a pen in his or her pocket, break it apart, and cut with the plastic.

If you would like more information on self harm, I would encourage you to look up idranktheseawater, 9343abs, and Laura Lejeune on YouTube. Their channels are wonderful. Google is also a great tool, but if you would like to narrow your search further, I recommend the following link: mental/self_injury

If you are a self harmer, I encourage you to tell at least one person that you trust about your cutting, bruising, burning, scratching, purging, etc. I know that you may not want to quit right now. Hell, you may not ever want to quit, I know that. But I can tell you that telling someone makes the journey easier. Much, much easier. It is as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders. It was off of mine. Also, know that you are not alone. I recommend the same YouTube channels for you that I do to those who are not as informed about self harm; there is a whole community. You are worthy for recovery. You are worthy of happiness. You have the strength within you. It's just a matter of digging deep enough to find it.

I am sorry this took so long, but it was needed. I hope I did not bore you with such information. If you still think that self harm is stupid or are still unable to grasp the concept, please, again, go to YouTube. There are many people out there that will be able to make things clear where I may have been unable to.


	2. Chapter 1: Not So Introduced

"I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you, ahhh yeah baby!" Cyborg shouted intensely as he slammed the buttons of the game controller with his fingers.

"No! Nooo!" Beast Boy shouted back in agony.

"New high score!" Cyborg said as the racing game ended.

"No fair, rematch!" Beast Boy insisted. Raven, sitting at the opposite end of the large couch in the living room, trying to delve herself into a book, fiercely shut it and stood up.

"Can you two not do something that is productive for once in your life instead of shouting like foolish animals?!" she said with her voice slightly raised and her eyes narrowly fixed on Beast Boy.

"Hey, I am an animal, what can I say?" Beast Boy joked, grinning. Raven's facial expression never changed. She opened her mouth to say something, but turned away to leave instead.

"What is with you, Raven? You never want to have fun! Come play a game with us! It will make you happy!" Beast Boy told her. How badly he wanted to see her happy. How badly he just wanted her to smile. He could see the pain in her eyes, for it seemed to never leave. He knew she tried to mask it, and did an excellent job when it came to the rest of the world, but not with him. Raven was unaware of this.

Her back was still facing Cyborg and more importantly, Beast Boy. She had heard very clearly what he had said to her, but she easily ignored it. Or acted like it was easy. She calmly put the hood of her cloak over her face and levitated away, leaving Beast Boy with an unseen pain in his green heart.

As soon as Raven went to shut the door of her room behind her, she heard the alarm sound. She passed through the walls and landed back in the living room where she just had been.

"Titans, trouble, east side of town," Robin said, now gritting his teeth, "Slade."

**Sorry that this is short! I was having trouble starting it, and I know that it isn't the best of beginnings so far, but I am hoping that you will enjoy it more as you read on :) **


	3. Chapter 2: Old Enemies, New Plans

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or Edger Allen Poe's work**

Chapter 2: Old Enemies, New Plans

Robin quickly hopped on his R-Cycle as Cyborg filed into the T-Car. Beast Boy formed into a hawk and took to the night's skies while Raven levitated her way across town with Starfire followed by her side.

"Friend Raven, do you think that Robin will be okay fighting the Slade?" Starfire asked Raven worried.

"Robin will not be the only one fighting, Star. If he needs help, there are four other people that have his back," Raven reassured her in her mono-toned voice.

The team soon arrived at a large, old warehouse and joined in front of the large doors, with weapons (and animal form) ready. Robin kicked open the doors as the five teenagers swarmed in.

"Titans! Go!" They were half way into the old creaking building, the only sounds being their own and dripping water from a rusty pipe.

"Yo man, where's the trouble?" Cyborg asked. There was no fight. No robots. Nothing.

"Shh, someone is here," Beast Boy said, forming into a beagle and flopped his ear to the floor. "It's coming this way," he said eerily. Finally, someone peered out of the shadows. Robin narrowed his eyes.

"Slade," Robin said crudely.

"Now Robin, didn't you miss me?" Slade asked manically.

"We did not miss you at all!" Starfire shouted, throwing her glowing green bolts at him. Slade merely held out his hand and the bolts seemed to disintegrate right in front of him. The group looked at him with wide eyes, but quickly brought the rain. Cyborg shot him with his canon, but Slade seemed to reflect the canon with his chest, sending it back Cyborg's way, causing him to fall into a stack of old crates. Starfire shot a dozen firebolts at him at once, using her eyes and hands, making the area around Slade dusty. Once the dust was gone, Starfire, still flying above him, saw that he had used an orange shield for protection, and grunted as he made it explode, knocking her out of the air.

"Starfire!" Robin shouted in desperation, lept and caught the dazed, and now, unconscious alien girl. He sat her down gently, and ran for Slade. "What in the hell do you want with me?!" he demanded, as he used his staff to help him gain air in hopes to kick Slade in the face. However, Slade caught his foot and through him into a wall across the way, causing enough damage to Robin's head to make it bleed and ache.

"Don't flatter yourself Robin, it is not you I want," Slade said calmly, "but this one." He moved his hand in Raven's direction, who was kneeling over Starfire, finding her vital signs, and out of his hand came a long, glowing, orange rope that wrapped around Raven four times, restraining her arms. She struggled, and with her hands tried to find her powers, with futile results. Slade brought Raven towards him, seeing her trying to fight back.

"Oh your powers won't work for _you_, my dear. But they will do wonders for _me_."

Raven was now forced to be just inches away from Slade and his metal mask. With his free hand, he touched Raven's jaw, her cloak still down.

"Your powers might not be the only thing that will do something for me," Slade hinted. Raven's eyes became filed with anger. Upon seeing Slade's actions, Beast Boy was enraged that Slade would say such a thing to Raven. He quickly turned into a T-Rex and hit Slade with his tail, causing him to lose his grip on Raven and fall backwards. Beast Boy roared loudly, still heated with anger, but Slade had caused a black cloud of smoke to engulf them all, turning Beast Boy back into his human form and the rest of the group to chock.

"This is not the end, my ghastly Raven," Slade said, his voice moving away from them all, "this is just the beginning."

**Hope you guys liked this one better than the first chapter! If you could, please leave a review; I would love feedback so I know how to make the story better :)**


	4. Chapter 3: Tension For All

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans**

Chapter 3: Tension For All

The smoke eventually cleared and the group reformed together, all trying to wrap there heads around what just happened. The three boys looked at Raven. She kept the hood of her cloak up, hiding her face in hopes that they could not see her fear. Beast Boy saw her slightly shake, even so, she could not tell (as she never had been able to) and seemed to act as if nothing major had just taken place. After a moment, she moved toward Starfire, bringing Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg out of their trance.

Cyborg leaned down next to Raven and scanned Star with his robotic hand.

"She'll be fine," he said, "but we should really get her back to the sick bay. I'll take her home in the T-Car."

"Good idea," Robin now said. "Beast Boy, fly home with Raven. She doesn't need to go alone. Cyborg can tend to Starfire when we get back and I'll do some digging on Slade and try to see what he is planning."

"I am not a child, Robin. I do not need to be babysat," Raven told him, her eyes slightly narrowed.

"Robin is right, Rae," Cyborg butted in, picking up Starfire carefully, "we need to make sure Slade doesn't try anything else." Raven rolled her eyes at them both in annoyance, turned, and made her way out of the warehouse with Beast Boy following behind.

"Good luck," Cyborg mouthed to Beast Boy, who chuckled. Soon, Beast Boy turned into a hawk once again, making his way back up to the sky with Raven, flying right behind her at a safe distance as he attempted to read her body language. She kept her cloak around her all the while. Still, Beast Boy could tell that she slightly shuttered. To anyone else, it would not have been noticeable, but he had something no one else had. Animal instinct. Though he could see her shaking, he couldn't tell if it was out of anger, annoyance, fear, or a combination of the three. He assumed that it was the later.

They arrived back at Titans' Tower later than Robin and Cyborg (the streets seemed empty and ready for major rubber. For Robin at least. Cyborg held back for Starfire's sake). Robin was fiddling on the computer with his normal serious face. They both knew that Cyborg was below with the alien girl.

"Cy said that Star should wake up soon," Robin informed them as they walked in, his eyes never leaving the monitor. Beast Boy saw Raven make a beeline for the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked her.

"To my room," she replied coldly.

"It isn't good to close yourself off from us, you know. You almost got kidnapped today! Don't you think you would feel safer-"

"I am not a child. I do not need protected by you or anyone else. I can take care of myself." She looked as if her frigid eyes were piercing through his soul, but he could see the pain behind them.

"Just because you can take care of yourself doesn't mean that I-we-can't help," he said feeling hurt, and turned away from her. She felt slightly shocked at not only his reply, but his tone as well. She looked at him for a short moment more, but she too turned away to retreat in her room.

"That's out job, Rae. To worry," Beast Boy said as the door hissed open, making it so Raven could leave the living room. He was now looking out the window to a dark night while she was still turned from him. She was thankful that their lack of eye contact lacked completely, for she was now blushing.

The closer she got to her room, the more she trembled. As she levitated in, she felt her body in a full fledged panic attack, trying desperately to contain her emotions. She almost ripped off her cloak and through it upon her clean floor. She opened the top drawer of her dresser, taking out a long, skinny, black, rectangular, wooden box with a dead rose with thorns carved on the top of the box. She opened it and rummaged through it carefully, her shaking fingers as they moved broken soda tabs, paperclips, and safety pins aside. Her shaking greatly subsided when she felt the cool touch of the X Acto knife. Still, merely touching it did no justice. She needed it to bite her pain away and force her emotions into submission.

**Hoped everyone liked the first three chapters. I should have chapter 4 and possibly chapter 5 up near this time next week? Fingers crossed :)**


	5. Chapter 4: Roller Coaster Nose Dive

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, there is a trigger warning for self harmers. Furthermore, I am not "glorifying" self harm. For the purposes of the story, I need to go into detail to show how most people feel before, during, and after self harming. In this case, cutting. **

Chapter 4: Roller Coaster Nose Dive

Raven gently closed the box, leaving it in her dresser. She picked up the X Acto knife with one hand and a small bottle of rubbing alcohol, which she also kept stashed away, in her other hand, while she had managed to use her powers to place a roll of paper towels under her left arm. She still slightly quivered as she walked over to her bed with the three items, and proceeded to sit down on the floor in front of her place of rest. She stretched her legs out in front of her, lining everything up beside her, and somewhat fumbled when trying to take the cap off of the rubbing alcohol. Once this task was complete, she poured the clear liquid over the end of the metal tool. The knife seemed to shine as the alcohol expanded her sense of smell. Next, she started to bring the shaking knife up to her skin, two thirds north of her knee cap, her second favorite place to let everything go. Once the cool metal made contact to her clean, gray washed skin, her trembling stopped. She was in control once again.

Raven brought the knife from one side of her thigh to the other quickly, making a clean sweep. With it came the bite, the sting, and the numbness she had been craving. Part of her pain and worries seemed to lift into the air and disintegrate. The knots she had been feeling in her stomach seemed to slightly unravel as she saw the ruby red liquid from her body finally bubble forth, and the heavy weight that she felt on her back was slightly lifted. Slightly. Not completely.

Raven did this seven more times as her emotions silently watched—they always stayed quiet during such actions unless she was angry. Then Rage sprang forth and egged her on. Once she felt like she was stable again, she ripped off three paper towels from the roll, bunched them up one at a time, brought them to her bleeding thigh, and applied pressure. During so, she heard crying. She looked around to find Sadness in her sky blue cloak with tear stains on her face, while Guilt, in her light green cloak, standing beside Sadness, sniffled. Raven felt them both surround her.

"Look at what you're doing," said Knowledge, now coming forth in yellow, "do you know how crazy you look?" Realization hit Raven, as it always does. What she was doing was crazy, she knew that.

"Well, go on," said Knowledge again, "look at it!" Raven took the paper towels off and looked down and her thighs. The blood had slightly smeared. Something she hated.

"It's a nasty habit, you know," Knowledge went on, "have you looked at them lately? All of them?" Raven almost always yelled at her emotions, threatened them, and eventually made them go away. After every time she indulged into her... addiction, however, Guilt and Sadness made doing so much too hard for her.

"I try not to," Raven replied quietly, not making eye contact with any of them.

"Do so," Knowledge commanded her in a firm voice.

Raven arose and put her things away exactly how she had them to begin with.

"Azar Nempthos," she said. Her tainted gray skin became clean once again in an instant.

"Go," Knowledge commanded her further. Raven did as she was told, taking action so unlike herself. But she wasn't like herself. She was never like her self after such events. That was part of the price for the help she sought.

Raven walked over to her full body mirror.

"Please..." Guilt and Sadness said, both their voices trailing off. Raven's three emotions stared at her, causing to the let out a heavy defeated sigh. She took off her leotard, looking at herself in the mirror with merely her undergarments on.

"Azar Sothpmen," she said. Scars upon scars took over her arms, legs, and thighs-a fair amount even on her stomach and hips for every time she felt discussed when she looked in the mirror. Some scars where fat, some skinny. Some long, some short. Some poked out while other ones sank in deeply.

"This is what you have become," said Knowledge, sounding mono-toned as Raven normally does, and proceeded to depart. Raven looked at Sadness and Guilt, both huddled together across the way. She looked at them coldly.

"What is done is done," she said, simply, signaling them to leave, which they did. "Azar Nempthos," Raven said once again, seeing her scars fad, leaving her with clear skin once more. She finally felt the numbness she had been in search of. It was never what she had hoped for, but found it to be better than dealing with the anxieties that came with feeling. She shimmied back into her leotard and sat on her bed, staring off into space in her dark room, thinking of nothing for moments on end. Eventually, she was brought out of her dazed trance when she heard a knock on her locked door.

"Uh, dude. Star woke up. Thought you might want to see her," said Beast Boy.

**I hope this wasn't too bad for everyone. If it was, I am terribly sorry. I hope that I was able to invoke the right emotions. Feedback? Thanks so much for reading; it's greatly appreciated!**

**I have Chapter 5 done, but I am having writer's block for Chapter 6. It might be a little while before those are put up, but they will get put up.**

**Oh, one reader asked me if Raven was going to kill herself. The answer is no. The thought honestly hadn't even crossed my mind. Part of my reason in writing this is to show the side of self harm that the media fails to portray. One of the biggest myths is that if a person cuts themselves, then they want to die. While this is true in some cases, in most it is not. So no, Raven is not going to die.**


	6. Chapter 5: A Faint Tic

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans**

Chapter 5: A Faint Tic

Raven brought her cloak close her with her powers, wrapped it around herself, put up the hood, and levitated toward her door, hissing as it opened.

"Thanks," she mumbled, passing Beast Boy. With her back facing him, he hung his head and sighed sadly.

"How is she?" Raven asked Cyborg, standing outside of the hospital like room. The sick back was set up as a room within a room-much like an interrogation room. The room, for those in need of care, had glass on all four sides so whomever the caretaker was (Cyborg most of the time) could monitor the individual. However, the "patient" could not see anyone outside of the room. This was done so that the "patient" would not get wary seeing someone stare at them, make notes, talk to others in private, etc.

"She'll be alright, just a slight concision," Cyborg replied, flipping through papers on a clipboard. "You can talk to her if you want. Do the things that ya'll do," Cyborg told her. Raven nodded and made her way into the glassed room.

"Friend Raven! How glorious it is to see you. I presume that you are not hurt?" Starfire inquired, worried.

"I'm fine, Star. How is your head feeling? You took quite a fall," Raven pointed out.

"I too am feeling the fine. My head hurts a little, but it's nothing to do the worrying over."

"I can make it feel better," Raven said lifting one of her hands as darkness swirled around it, keeping it roughly three inches away from the young alien's head. Starfire gently caught Raven's wrist.

"I have taken much worse falls, friend," Starfire said. She knew how much energy and pain it caused Raven to heel. Since Trigon tried to take over the world, Raven had been healing her friends much more, however, over trial things, such as this.

"It's alright, you landed pretty hard, even for Robin to be a cushion," Raven tried to insist, mono-toned. Starfire hesitated as she now started to speak.

"Friend Cyborg told me of your... interaction with Slade. I think you may have landed harder than I. Just in a different way." Raven brushed off the incident.

"I'm fine, Star. Here," Raven said, making her hand be engulfed by dark power once again, giving her friend no room to refuse. Starfire's pain was almost nonexistent compared to the injuries the Titans had faced over the years, and surely would leave no mark on Raven as others had. Oh yes, once Raven rids them of their pain, she has to put it somewhere-it doesn't just go away. The monks had taught her to eliminate the pain done to herself by acting as a medium, passing it from the individual in pain to an object near by, some living (such as an animal or a plant) to something abiotic (like a rock or pot). As she got older, however, she fed off of pain in many forms. She felt like she needed it to live. She needed her scars to show her that she was indeed living. The pain she receives stays inside her, becoming a bomb that could possibly set off her emotions and let them free at any time. She, is unaware of this, though. She cannot afford to think this way. What she does helps, or so she thinks, that is all that matters. The short term, in this regard, is the extent of her thoughts on the subject. Until the long terms eventually blows up in her face, and more importantly, the faces of everyone that she loves. Only then will she come to grips fully with her altered thought process.

**Sorry that there isn't any major BBxRae yet! I'm easing into it. I don't see Raven just "going for" Beast Boy, or him automatically growing the courage to ask her out or something like that. It has to be a gradual thing. In my mind at least. So bare with me! Hope you liked it! Leave a review if you could? It helps my writing to get feedback. More to come soon!**


	7. Chapter 6: By The Moonlight

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans**

Chapter 6: By The Moonlight

Starfire had been released an hour after Raven's visit. After the alien girl was able to convince the Boy Wonder in actually resting his body and mind, Cyborg too decided it was time for bed. Trying to follow suit, Beast Boy too went to his room while Raven went to hers as well. She meditated for a long while not thinking about anything. Just leaving her mind as a white slate with not a care or emotion in the world. How she wished she could stay in such a state forever. Free from worry. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at her digital clock. "1:32 am," it read. She then realized how long the day had been for the team and herself, causing the white slate of her mind to become a charcoal gray, remembering the events of the day. Getting angry at Beast Boy. Walking into the warehouse. Slade threatening her. Taking her feelings out on herself. Seeing Starfire in sick bay. Such an unwanted rush pushed sleep away-and she knew it wasn't coming any time soon.

"Might as well do something relaxing," she thought, still not wanting to face the reality in front of her for a little bit longer. With that, she passed through the walls as a raven in an upward manner, not making a sound as she did so, and quickly made contact with the roof to find that she was not alone.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled monotonically to the green changeling.

"Huh?" he said, coming out of a trance and turned around to see Raven with the hood of her cloak up. "Oh, it's okay." Raven turned to leave. "You don't have to go," Beast Boy said a little too quickly. Raven turned back around as Beast Boy motioned for her to sit beside him and watch the moonlight dance on the water. She levitated next to him with her legs crossed.

"You can take your hood down, dude" Beast Boy told her, "I-we don't like it when you hide."

"We?" Raven asked.

"You know, the team. You were given a face for a reason," he chuckled. Raven was slightly confused, but questioned it no further. Eventually, she did show her face. The two sat in silence beside each other. Raven looked at the moon, trying to imagine her mind as pure as the round object in front of her, so large it seemed like it was possible to reach out and touch it.

"It's okay, ya know," Beast Boy said abruptly, breaking the silence, his eyes fixed on the moon.

"What's okay?" Raven asked him, now turning to him in confusion.

"Fear," he told her, now turning his face towards hers. For half a moment, they looked at one another, but Raven quickly turned eyes back to the moon and put the hood of her cloak back over her face, for she felt uncomfortable with his emotions. She could feel his sincerity, something that she tried to keep away from. Sincerity was something she lacked. She couldn't be sincere about the way in which she felt; she could neither be sincere to her friends when she knew of her father's arrival nor could she be sincere when it came to her emotions.

"I'm not afraid," Raven said, lying.

"Because you really aren't? Or because you aren't letting yourself?" Beast Boy asked her. Raven kept her composure and her same tone.

"Why should it matter? Either way I am not fearful."

"You shouldn't not be afraid for the wrong reasons. You shouldn't feel any emotions for the wrong reasons." Beast Boy kept his eyes fixed on the moon, but brought his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Raven continued to levitate.

"What could you possibly know about fear." This was a statement directed toward the green teenager, not a question. They both kept silent for a couple of minutes after Raven's statement, Beast Boy's mind going a mile a minute to many times in which he encountered fear.

"I know more than you think, Rae," he almost whispered to her, now standing up and made his way into the tower. Raven stayed outside for a few more minutes alone, then she too passed to her room to get as much sleep as she could, which, by the clock, wouldn't be much.

**Hoped you guys liked chapters 5 and 6. My writer's block decreased some, but I have a lot of school work at the moment since it is the end of the year, so don't freak out if I don't have chapters up and soon as you want them. I also went back and looked at what I had written previously. I am sorry that some chapters were laid out differently than others, but I think I fixed them. Write a review? It really does encourage me to write further. Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 7: Here Comes The Rain

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, or Edgar Allan Poe's work (although, I wish I did; he's absolutely brilliant).**

Chapter 7: Here Comes The Rain

Eight days had now passed since the Titans' re-encounter with Slade, without a trace of him found. Not only this, but he had failed to make any more contact. The lives of the five teens seemed normal-as normal for them is. They warded off the less threatening criminals, such as Control Freak and Mumbo Jumbo during the calm of the storm which was heading their way. Starfire and Robin made googly eyes at each other and held hands, as they often did. Cyborg and Bumblebee fought over the phone, then made up the next day, as they often did. And Raven was annoyed by Beast Boy on a daily basis, as she often was. Still, with such normality, they knew that Slade would show up again. And show up he did.

As Cyborg and Beast Boy were in the middle of a very heated racing game, a familar face-rather mask-popped up on the screen.

"Yo man! What gives?" Cyborg shouted annoyed, before processing that Slade was now in front of him and the green changeling. Raven peaked over her book, her eyes never widening and her body stayed the same grey. Beast Boy looked at her and noticed her shaking ever so slightly, an action that will be looked over by the other three friends. Starfire walked over from the kitchen, slurping mustard out of a straw and Robin now walked with her, their hands together. He squeezed hers as he was unaware of what he was doing. Starfire felt such tension, but let the boy wonder show his anger; his grip couldn't hurt the sweet alien.

"Slade," Robin said, gritting his teeth together, as was his natural reaction.

"Hello Robin," Slade began, sounding as he always did. "Nice to see that all of you could join me. Have you missed me, Raven?" he asked her, with his voice becoming softer, but more menacing. Beast Boy was the only one who was able to tear his eyes away from the screen to briefly look at the half demon girl. She didn't even blink. She looked as bored and as uninterested as she always did.

"No matter. You will soon feel...differently about my presences," Slade said, vaguely.

"You may not have friend Raven!" Starfire now spoke up. Her grip on Robin's hand tightened. He tried to let the pain pass.

"My dear girl, I don't need _just_ the pretty bird for my purposes. Not at the moment. No, I need you all."

"And why do you think we'll help you?" Cyborg asked, seriously.

"Because if your little team doesn't meet me in the warehouse two miles north of Riverstreet in thirty minutes, you can say goodbye to the attendants of the mayor's conference." Slade pressed a button on a remote control. A dozen pictures of small, red, flashing balls stuck to various walls were seen all around the courthouse. "Oh, and don't even think about dismantling them. One touch and the whole building will explode," before any of the five teenagers could respond, Slade added in, "I look forward to seeing you again, my ghastly Raven." The screen now shut off.

**Sorry for a few things: First, for this taking a while. I'm always hesitant that what I write doesn't sound "right" and I don't have anyone to revise my work (not anyone that knows the characters). If someone wanted to help me with that before I posted it, I would be VERY grateful! Secondly, for the shortness. Lastly, for the un-eventfulness in this chapter, but it had to be put. I have chapters 8 & 9 done. It is in two parts, making two different chapters. They shall be put up later. Leave a review if you could; they are very much so appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 8: Multiple Monsters (Part 1)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. There is also a *trigger warning* for this chapter. It isn't as bad as the first one, but still needed to be put up. **

* * *

Chapter 8: Multiple Monsters (Part 1)

"Robin, what shall the actioning be?" Starfire asked him, worried.

"We... we have to do what he said," Robin responded defeatedly, his words meant for the whole team.

"What?! We can't let him push us around!" Cyborg shouted.

"You heard him, Cy. All those innocent people... we have to do it," Robin told him.

"And those people might not be the only ones he hurts if he doesn't get his way. If he got a hold of Raven-" Beast Boy's tone was worried, but Raven cut him off.

"I am the least of your problems. I am not a child and do not need to be treated as such. I can protect myself." Her tone was snippy and her words struck him harshly. She noticed such pain, but would be unable to make the green boy feel better in front of the rest of their friends. "I'll call Titans East and have them look over the courthouse. If something goes wrong with Slade, they might be able to spare the lives of those men and women," Robin said. "Titans, move out."

Raven's emotions were going crazy. From being scared by Slade, feeling bad for hurting Beast Boy, and having to suppress such emotions, she was feeling very triggered, and the urge to cut was very strong. She knew that she would have to endure battle and all of the necessities that came with it before she could indulge in her... habit, but she felt like she was going to explode if she was unable to subside such weight—at least a small portion of it.

The Titans "moved out" very quickly. Raven knew she wouldn't be alone in the skies; Starfire and Beast Boy would be near her as they always were. Still, she was able to take out a tool from a hidden compartment in one of the red jewels of her belt. She tapped the ruby in the middle in four places very quickly and it slid open. She took from it a random, broken Monster tab from her collection. She wished she could just sit and rub it on her fingers before she used it. She wished she could sit and concentrate fully on what she wanted to do, where she wanted to "hurt" herself the most. Wanting this slowness, this thoughtfulness put into her self harm was different from the last time she underwent such action, but every situation, every trigger is different, with different pains, different yearnings, different wants.

Raven, despite her wanting, was in a hurry. She took the broken tab and put it in the palm of her hand. As she flew out of the tower and into the sky, she squeezed the sharp metal into her hand as hard as she could. It wasn't the same kind of pain she wanted, but it was better than nothing. The closer they all got to the warehouse, the more Raven squeezed, pushing the tool farther into her skin. She kept her cloak wrapped around her so the team would not be able to see the hidden events take place. Once she felt a fine amount of blood encase her hand, she used her magic to put the tab away. If asked, she would say the wound was from the battle they were just about to undergo.

The team arrived at the warehouse, similar to the one they previously had encountered Slade in, right on time. Raven felt blood drip from the middle of her palm as it made its way to the center of her middle finger. She had put the tab away right before she landed to meet her friends in front of the large metal doors. With one of her hands bleeding, she was forced to put the hood of her cloak down with one hand, something she never did. No one seemed to notice. No one except the green boy, who looked at her quite perplexed. Raven looked at him for a very short time, quite annoyed at first, but soon remembered the harsh words she had spoken to him just thirty or so minutes prior. This remembrance caused her to look away.

The team now looked at one another with worry upon their faces. Robin looked around at them all, then nodded. He opened the door and led the way. The warehouse, unlike the other, was not lit by the moonlight (as it was no longer full), making it very hard to see. Cyborg's flashlight and the glow of Starfire's hand were needed. After taking about seven or eight steps into the building, Beast Boy stopped abruptly.

"I hear him," he whispered.

"Very good, Beast Boy. I see your senses have been more sharply tuned," a voice came from a few feet in front of them. Cyborg lifted his flashlight higher and found the owner of the voice sitting on one of many tall steel shelves. Robin narrowed his eyes behind his mask and tried to take a step forward. Starfire held out her free arm to stop him.

"We are now here. Shall you release the people of the house of court?" Starfire asked innocently. They could almost feel him smirk behind his metal mask.

"Not quite yet, my precious star." At this, Robin became greatly heated with anger.

"What in the hell did we come here for, then!" Robin shouted.

"Patience, Robin. I need you for a certain... demonstration."

"What... kind of demonstration?" Cyborg asked, seriously. Slade now grinned a toothy smile behind his mask (if such an action is possible since his last encounter with Trigon).

"I am so glad you asked." With that, Slade jumped off the shelf dramatically, landing on his feet with his knees close to the ground. The team readied themselves for battle. With a wave of Slade's hand, Cyborg was thrown into a metal wall across the way.

"Titans! Go!" Robin shouted. Cyborg hurried upright and brushed himself off.

"Yo, man! What gives?!" he shouted to no one in particular as he caught Starfire who was being thrown next to him. As Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven "brought the rain," Robin made his way over to the device controlling the bombs back at the courthouse. Slade was shielding himself from the blows of the three other teens when he caught the boy wonder. Slade moved his hand, and with the turn of a wrist, Robin's body was forced into a painful and embarrassing dance.

"Not so fast, Robin," Slade said manically. It took Raven, Starfire, and Cyborg a few moments to understand that Robin no longer had control of his own body. Starfire, who was in the air with Raven, now flew down to punch Slade. He held up his other hand, stopping the red-haired alien with her fist inches from his face.

"Now, now, Starfire. I thought you might want to dance with your boyfriend," Slade said. He moved his wrist a few more times, forcing her feet to the ground, moving them toward Robin. After more than enough staring, the empath used her magic to pick up a nearby metal shelf as Cyborg aimed his canon.

"Tisk, tisk." Slade nodded his head side to side. With his eye, it seemed, he froze them both. "You must see them dance." Robin was now so close to Starfire it was possible for her to feel his breath. They all let out grunts of struggle. Robin's hands were forced on Starfire's waist, and the two were thrown around in the air together, making Robin, who wasn't as used to flying, woozy. They were then halted in the air. Robin's hands slowly moved from the bare stomach of the tall girl up to her rib caged, and crept up higher. He fought with all his might to gain control of his body once again, but was failing miserably. If it was possible, Starfire would make herself cry. Robin's hands were now right under her breasts when they all heard a crack.

"NO!" Slade shouted out in fury, losing concentration and the control over the bodies of the four teens. He had completely forgotten about Beast Boy, who during such events turned into a small rat and sought out the device controlling the bombs. Upon finding it, he turned into a brown (well... green) bear and stepped on it.  
The other four were dazed, and felt a tingling sensation as they were now in full control of their actions. Robin, Raven, and Starfire were dropped from flying against their will, but managed to clumsily land on their feet. Well enough on their feet, that is. Beast Boy now returned to his human form, giving a large, toothy grin.

"Admit it dude," he said to Slade, "we totally beat you!" Slade now lifted an arm and gained control of the green body. He threw Beast Boy from the ceiling, to the floor, to one wall, to the other. When the rest of the Titans tried to stop him, he used his other hand to silence their bodies of movement. Slade now played with him as if the changeling was a puppet—much harsher than with Robin. He made Beast Boy dance in such a way that his right leg was twisted around. All cringed as they heard his bones break while Slade laughed in amusement. Slade then did the same with Beast Boy's left arm, causing the same reaction.

Raven could not take very much more pain. Physically, she was, of course, beat, but emotionally, she was going mad. Seeing everyone around her helpless as Beast Boy seemed to be dying inside as she was. The empath tried to get into Nevermore, in hopes that she would find the tool in helping them all out of their situation. Her mind, however was blocked. Slade seemed to sense her trying to flee. He now brought Raven closer to him. Beast Boy watched in terror with the rest of his team. He, however, was limp, crippled on the ground, unable to move. Raven was now in front of Slade, who fiercely ripped off her cloak. As the other three were behind her, helpless, while Beast Boy, also helpless, was in front of her. Raven could now see the blood on her hand, which, at this point was smeared and dried.

"Oh, yes," Slade said pervertedly, overlooking her hand, "this all shall do... quite nicely." His hand moved to Raven's waist. Beast Boy's eyes grew largely wild. He felt his blood speed faster through his veins as it ran cold, but his face grew very hot. His muscles grew to a massive, hairy size. He struggled in agony, causing Slade to turn around. The Beast was now ready to roam free.

**Sorry that this part is really long! The next one is really short (if you cannot tell, I have length problems :/) Hoped you liked it, though! Thank you Gweneire for helping me! Leave a review! **


	10. Chapter 9: Multiple Monsters (Part 2)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, another *trigger warning,* but it does not pertain to self harm at all. **

Chapter 9: Multiple Monsters (Part 2)

Slade's eye was now the one that grew wild. He held out a hand to control the monster, but the power he once had over the crippled boy seemed to be gone. The Beast advanced toward him quickly. Slade tried to run, but the animal like creature grabbed the top of his metaled head with one hand and proceeded to throw Slade's body in the air. After aiming, The Beast jumped up and kicked him in the chest, hurling him to the ground. At this point, the evil, ghostly metal like man had lost control of all the Titans. Once again, they were in a short daze—Raven more so than any of them due to the amount of emotion she seemed to be drowning in. All rushed toward Slade and The Beast, not knowing who to be more afraid of, and decided to watch the fight as there was nothing any of them could do.

They were both struggling now as The Beast was on top of Slade, pounding at his chest in rage. Eventually, The Beast stopped, looked toward the sky, and growled. Slade took this moment to reach for a broken pipe beside him. With it, he sliced the monster above him, right below The Beast's hairy ribs. The pipe was not cleanly broken, so the cut ripped apart his skin from the middle to the side of the monster. The Beast was now gone, and only an almost unconscious green boy with ripped clothes and blood all around him remained. Slade now stood up with the bloody, broken pipe with ripped green hairs on it, and raised it at the teenage boy. Raven felt Rage, Fear, and Bravery spring to the forefront of her emotions at once. Her eyes grew red and tentacles of black energy formed around her.

"NO!" Rage shouted from within her, her voice deep and angry. The magic she was using grew very large as she encased her friends. Such a disruption caused the warehouse to crumble. "Never again!" Rage shouted to Slade. His eye again grew wide, partly in fear and partly in awe. Still, his answer was in the same tone as it always was.

"But my dear, sweet, Raven, there will always be a next time." The building now caved and Raven and the Titans were now in a black abyss of nothingness.

**Told you it was short! Sorry about that. Leave me a review! Feedback is great!**


	11. Chapter 10: Checks Are Rosy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

Chapter 10: Roses Are Red, Eyes Are Violet

It was very dark to the group, and cold as they felt nothingness surround them while they traveled under Raven's wings. It was something they had yet to experience. Starfire shivered in Robin's arms. Cyborg kept Beast Boy awake. In a matter of moments, they were home and in the sick bay, where Cyborg started barking orders, as he always did when in his "doctor mode."

"Robin, help me get BB in the bed. Star, hook up his IVs." While they were getting everything ready, Raven, now back in her human form, kept Beast Boy awake, applying pressure to his wounds, not saying a word as her emotions panicked. Knowledge told her to press harder. Wisdom told her to talk to him. Rage yelled at her for sparing Slade's life. Sadness cried in the corner of her mind. Raven pushed them away, knowing she would have to deal with such personal problems later. There were bigger issues at hand.

"Here," Robin said, kneeling down to pick up the green boy.

"You have to apply pressure!" Raven piped up, her voice slightly higher than normal. Robin was slightly taken aback. Cyborg, who was also kneeling, was understanding and still very serious.

"We got it, Rae," said the metaled young man. Once the task of getting the wounded green boy in the bed was finished, Starfire proceeded to do her job. Once all was accomplished, Raven sent everyone out of the room so she could get to work.

Beast Boy was breathing, though he struggled. The empath surrounded her hands with the darkness of matter, as she did with Starfire just eight days before, and gently held them right above the changeling's wound, whose bleeding was slowed by the tightly wound dressings wrapped around them-compliments of Cyborg.

"You should sleep," Raven said, now back to her normal voice.

"I'll be okay. It's feeling better," Beast Boy said, smiling faintly and looking at her, but she couldn't bear to hold eye contact.

"I'm sorry," she said very quietly, staring at her hands and the coverings of the open gash, which was ever so slowly healing.

"What?" he asked with a weak voice.

"For snapping at you earlier. I'm sorry." It was now her voice that was weak. He simply smiled at her once again.

"It's all good, Rae. You should get some sleep, dude; you've done a lot today. I know that teleporting makes you tired. You're pushing it with the healing, too," he told her. She still couldn't look at him. How could he be so thoughtful and sweet when he was in so much pain?

"I'm fine," she replied, tonelessly. He grabbed one of her hands and forced her to make eye contact with him.

"I'll be here in the morning, I promise." His tone was one of great seriousness. She wanted to hide herself in her cloak for eternity, but had taken it off beforehand to heal him. It was laying on the other side of the room, close to the door.

"You can't wait until morning. I have enough energy to finish," she lied. "I'll use a spell from Azarath to speed things up for you. I hate to see you in such pain." The last sentence seemed to quickly spill out of her mouth; her cheeks became rosy from embarrassment. She rarely let such thoughts escape from her mind.

Beast Boy saw pink rise in her checks and immediately became overjoyed. He suppressed such happiness, of course, and being in such pain, it would be hard to express such emotion, regardless.

"It's my jokes isn't it! You'd miss my jokes," he grinned, teeth showing. "Eh? Eh?" he nudged her. Raven rolled her violet eyes. How he wished he could stare into them for days on end. He chuckled, thinking about this along which his actions of annoying her, but winced and held the wound in agony when his pain resurfaced. Raven grabbed his bloody, gloved hand to move it out of the way, but held it for a tad bit longer than she meant to, unaware as to why. Like every other action and emotion she had been having for the past day, she shook it off. For now.

The empath removed the green boy's red stained gloves from his hands and sat them on the table next to the hospital bed, making a mental note to wash them for him. Niceness seemed to be spilling from her-as much niceness as could be spilled from her that is. Guilt had her by the throat.

"I have to push on your cut for this to work, so it will be slightly painful-but only for a moment. You will become sleepy. During the night, your body will heal itself. You will need to send Cyborg to get me after you awaken; I will have to check to see if there will be anything else I need to do," she explained. He nodded. She pressed her hands against his gash to which he tried to suppress another wince.

"Repthes wetas," she said, her eyes closed as she concentrated on what needed to be healed. Darkness swirled around her hands as they normally did, but at a faster rate.

"Thanks, Rae. You're amazing," he said softly, smiling to himself. She could have fallen over at these four words. No one had said such things to her before. Not since Malchior. She couldn't think of him at the moment though. She couldn't think of anything except the task at hand (literally). All would be dealt with in time.

Beast Boy soon grew sleepy after the weight from Raven's hands seemed to lift. His eyes, which were fixed on Raven's thighs (he wasn't staring on purpose. He just had nothing else to look at; that was his view), seemed to close. The last thing he saw was a very familiar mark appear on the clean, gray skin in front of him.

**Hoped you guys liked this chapter! We are getting to the bare bones of schools, so I should be getting more time once its all over (that is the plan at least). Leave a review if you could!**


	12. Chapter 11: Somewhere It Will Stick

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Nor do I own ****_The Way She Feels_**** by Between The Trees (I took one of their song lyrics and made it the title, as well as referenced it). Also: ****_major trigger warning_**** for those who are triggered by reading, seeing, or hearing about someone else who self harms.**

Chapter 11: Somewhere It Will Stick

Raven stumbled to her room, almost falling downing from the weakness she felt. Beast Boy was right: she really pushed it-far. Perhaps too far.

She did not come into contact with the other Titans on her way. They were doing their normal activities. Starfire was showering, Robin was trying to track down Slade, and Cyborg was washing the T-Car, an activity he partook in both when he was relaxed and when he was feeling stressed. Raven often wished she could relieve her stress in a way such as this. Nothing too intense; just enough to take your mind off of what was causing pain. And not to have Remorse showering her after feeling such satisfaction? That was something she couldn't even dream about.

Raven finally made her way to her room, sleepy as could be. Still, when she flopped on her bed face up, she was wide awake. She felt the blood inside her turn to fire, causing her to perspire perfusely. Her body shot up as she ripped off her cloak, something that usually gave her great comfort, and threw it across the room where it landed on the, otherwise, clean floor. She was suddenly aware of her now clammy hands while her breathing became faster and heavier. Eventually, her arms shook uncontrollably, and her hands along with them. She still was a victim of weakness and tiredness as she quickly flailed, but forced herself to arise from her bed.

"STOP!" she wanted to shout to herself, but did not want any of the team finding her in such a frantic state.

She felt Rage take a large step forward, accompanying Fear.

"G-go away!" Raven managed in between breathes. Rage looked amused and plopped herself right down on the ground beneath her and forced Fear down with her.

"I always love a good show, don't you, Fear?" Rage said smiling, looking manically as Raven went to her drawer for relief. Fear looked away and twiddled at her thumbs, wishing she could be with Timid; they had always gotten along so well and was much better company than Rage. Raven's two emotions were so strong, they were now across the way in the room with her. Raven's drawer rattled as she opened it. Quickly, she touched a cool, rugged, cylinder shaped piece of metal and grabbed it, not even bothering with the alcohol. She felt slightly better after coming into contact with her greatest comfort-next to her cloak, of course.

"X Acto knife again; nice choice," Rage said with the same expressions as before, "don't you think so, Fear?" Fear didn't say a word and continued to twiddle with her fingers.

"I s-said to g-go away!" Raven said a little louder, still not in control of her body. At this, Rage's smile turned into a full toothed grin.

"Come on, Rae. You know the only way to get rid of us. And you want it. We can tell you want it," Rage said. Raven sat down on the floor in front of her bed as she always did when she underwent such... twisted therapy. Rage moved to Raven now.

"Come on, come on, no precision!" Rage egged her on, seeing that she wanted to have the same clean cuts as the empath did the time before.

"Leave me-e!" Raven almost shouted.

"Not until you do it! Now! Now!" Rage's voice increased with every word. Raven hated her being so physically close when she was undergoing her secretive habit. Still, she had no choice. She would explode if she didn't cut.

Raven took the X Acto knife and made her first cut: from one end of her thigh across to the other; though it was straight, it was slightly moving downwards diagonally. She felt her shaking subside a great deal, her blood slightly cool, and her breathing level out more.

"More, more!" Rage almost shouted.

"Ugh!" Raven said frustrated, but continued to tear open her skin with the silver blade. She cut and bled, and cut and bled. She cut over cuts, crossing them; she made some long, some short, most fairly deep, and all bloody. With each cut and each word from Rage, she felt Fear fad away more and more until she was no longer a witness of such events. But with every passing hold Raven had on Fear, Rage became more and more real to her-more and more real to the world.

Finally, Raven's slashing fit came to an end. She focused on the whole canvas of the mess rather than one portion of it while she held the blade in her hand.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Rage said, grinning again. Raven frowned.

"Your wish was granted. Leave me. Now," Raven demanded. Once again, she was in control. Rage could do nothing but obey her. Soon, the emotion faded.

Raven laid the knife beside her as she examined what she had done. She noticed that she had ripped off the sleeves of her leotard to pour out her emotions upon her arms, but even in such panic, made sure she never went far enough down that the blade touched her wrists. Death was not her intention; in fact, it was just the opposite. All she wanted to do was live. Without pain.

Raven then became aware of the fact that blood was stained all around her: on her carpet, some on the hanging bed sheets that she had been leaning up against-she cut for so long that the drawn blood from her first cuts was now drying. She also noticed that she had carved two words into her skin: Monster and Freak. She very easily knew where "Monster" came from. Her father was a monster, making her one by blood. She had also written a poem about one specific monster, and perhaps was also thinking of such writing at the time of her indulgence. Freak, however, was something Beast Boy use to call her not too long after the team formed. Pondering on the past, Raven realized that this was something he had not called her in a very long time. Did he still think she was a freak? Did he view her as the monster she was?

"Why do I care?" she wondered, annoyed with herself. She rolled her eyes, then forced them down once again, but Numbness shielded the empath, unbeknownst to her, causing Raven to feel nothing and turn away. A "normal" person would find such markings on her body chaotic (not to mention insane). She, however, was able to feel the organization of such skin tarnishings. Her canvas is her skin, her brush is the destruction of her choosing, and her paint is her blood. When viewed together, her emotions create a piece that is a bloody mess. The girl merely took the emotions inside of herself and put there where they would forever stick.

**Hoped you guys liked this chapter! I'm trying to show how self harmers feel when they cut (burn, pick, etc.) for different reasons. If you have any questions or are confused, feel free to PM anytime. Also, HUGE thank you to 97TaraMarkov; your patience and help is so greatly appreciated (esp. for the ending of this chapter)! Leave a review if you could. Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 12: Moving Through Motions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

Chapter 12: Moving Through Motions

Raven woke up later than she meant to; when she rolled on her side, the clock stared back at her, silently saying "7:42 am." Releasing everything the night before, as earth shattering as it seemed, not only made her feel slightly better, but it made her so tired that she couldn't do anything else except let her head hit the pillow-she couldn't even clean the mess around her up. She was able, however, to take the stained sheets from her bed and fold them up so that nothing showed. She planned on cleaning them later. Lucky for her, she could cover the blood on the floor with a rug. Out of these small tasks that wore her out tremendously, she found not cringing from her cuts to be the most challenging. Normally, she would have cleaned everything up with her magic (including herself), but between teleporting, fighting in battle, healing Beast Boy's major wound, and being defeated by Rage, she had no strength left. What little she regained from sleep had to be given to Beast Boy once again if his gash had not properly healed. She knew she had a long, stressful day ahead of herself.

Her first task was to put tea on to boil if she wanted to function. She noticed that no one else was awake. The empath assumed that everyone was so worn out from the previous events that they all slept in-even Robin who could never dream because he tried catching criminals in his sleep (literally). Cyborg would wake up around 8:15, though (unless interrupted due to heroic purposes), for it was in his programming. She decided to take advantage of her spacious free time before everyone woke up. After her tea was made and she had consumed it, she made her way down stairs to the sick bay.

Beast Boy was still asleep, as he was suppose to be. She came in quietly so as not to disturb him; if he awoke, it would interfere with the healing process. Raven snatched up the bloody gloves and maneuvered herself out of the glass room without making any noise. She proceeded to walk as quickly as she could to her room while staying quiet. Once there, she grabbed the bloody folded up sheet on the right side of her bed, where no one could have seen it, and threw both articles into the washing machine down the hall. Her timing couldn't have been more perfect. Starfire made her way out of bed and both girls walked to the living room with a safe distance between the two. Eventually they met in the kitchen.

Starfire was normally very chatty and created some sort of random concoction of the most nasty of sorts: peas and chocolate, cereal with tartar sauce, strawberry milk and tomato juice-you name it. But on this day, she felt run down and tired, unlike her normal self. She settled for ketchup on toast and a healthy serving of mustard, complete with a straw. Raven simply made herself another pot of tea. The empath was slightly worried about the silence between them. Normally the alien girl never stopped talking.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Raven asked as she clanked her spoon in her cup.

"Oh yes, most excellently!" Starfire now cheered up, but soon became sad. "Raven, do you think friend Beast Boy will be alright?"

"He'll be fine," Raven said unenthusiastically and sipped her tea.

"How can you be so sure?!" Starfire was now more open about her worry for the green boy, and rightly so. He was like her younger brother.

"I'm positive, Star. I healed him myself. He will be fine after he wakes up."

"But what if something happens and your healing doesn't work?! What if you were too..." Starfire's voice trailed off. She didn't dare say the last word. Not to Raven. Never to Raven. Though annoyed that Starfire would insinuate her lack of power, her lack of control, Raven remained her normal, toneless self.

"It's worked every other time. I had enough energy. Like I said. He'll be fine."

"I'm not weak," Raven thought. She told herself this many times. Rage mocked her in her mind. Raven shooed her away.

Time went by and everyone woke up, including Beast Boy, who sent for Raven as instructed. Raven, now in the sick bay with him, unwrapped his dressings carefully.

"All looks to be as it should," Raven said simply. Beast Boy smiled heavily.

"Can I ask you something, Dude?" His voice was cautious.

"I guess," she replied, still studying where his wound was.

"When you heal us, why don't we ever scar? My gash was deep, Dude. If I left it alone, it would have scarred." Raven now looked at him with a cold face.

"If you left it alone, you would have died." She went back to her studying, keeping her composure.

"You didn't answer my question," he pointed out, quietly. Raven sighed.

"When I heel someone I am taking away their pain, which is whatever wound they have. I have to take that pain and put it somewhere. If there are objects around I can put them there-it's like I'm the median between person and object," she explained without feeling, leaving out that she kept the pain she received from those being healed, and no longer transferred the pain to anything but herself. The amethyst eyed girl opened her mouth slightly to say something else, but quickly shut it and went back to looking all around for signs of off set bones, troubled skin, a rash, etc. Such signs could be faint, which is why Raven had to take her time when dealing with such large wounds.

"There's more," Beast Boy said, referring to her shutting her mouth. Raven sighed once again and looked at him.

"When the wounds are sever, like yours was, I don't have time to put the pain somewhere else. I leave it, as well as the scar, on my body." It was partly true. She did keep the pain from the large wounds.

"But, Dude, why would you-"

"It has to go somewhere."

He looked at her body now. "But I don't see any scars?"

"I use spells to cover them up. They're on my body, but are hidden. They only show up when commanded."

"What about when you're healing someone? Do some of them come out then?" Beast Boy asked her.

"Why do you ask?" Raven was suspicious.

"Before I went to sleep, I saw a scar on your thigh. It looked like that wound Star got from Mammoth when that rusty car scraped her up really bad."

"It only showed because of the amount of power it took for me to cast that spell on you. I had to get the energy from other places briefly, so, such energy was taken from the energy it takes to keep my scars hidden. Once all was said and done, they were hidden once again."

"You said that you had enough energy, though," Beast Boy said, looking at her gravely.

"I did. I did it, didn't I? What is this? The third degree for helping you?" Raven was now tired of his questions.

"You could get hurt if you pushed it too far," said the Changeling, looking her dead center in the eyes. Raven turned away and put the hood of her cloak up.

"Would you just stop? You claiming to worry about me gets no one anywhere. What is done is done. I healed you and you're still alive. Nothing is going to change that. Could you just stop focusing on it so much? You are not my parent and it's not your job to tell me how far I can push my limits." Raven seemed frigid on the outside, but this was merely a defense. On the inside, she was confused and didn't know what to say, therefore she acted the only way she knew how toward the green boy: harshly.

Beast Boy, who by this time was out of the bed, made his way to the doors of the sick bay, gravely, and opened the one on the right.  
"I wasn't just claiming to worry," he deadpanned and walked out.

**Sorry that this is kind of going slow. I recently got everything planned just the way I want it, so more "good stuff" is coming, I promise! Really soon (after chapter 13 is the plan)! Thanks so much for your continued support everyone :) Special shout out to the viewer who left a review as a guest. I'm sorry that the story is triggering, but I'm glad that you have found a sense of comfort within it. And no, you are neither weird nor alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime-that goes for everyone. And I don't just say this to be "nice." I truly mean it.**

**Also, my idea for Raven's scars and her being a median for pain came from AllThatGlistens' story Mosaic, so thank you!**


	14. Chapter 13: Sleeping Birds Lie

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, there is a ****very mild trigger warning.**

Chapter 13: Sleeping Birds Lie

Two weeks passed on, again, without a word from Slade. This, however, did not keep Robin from attempting to track his scent (or his lack thereof). Aside from this, waters seemed calm-as calm for a Titan as it gets. Calm for most of the Titans, that is.

Raven kept up with her cutting when her anxieties surfaced, which usually arose from the tension she felt around Robin. His grief and fear when it came to his obsession over Slade drenched her as an April shower. The boy wonder spent most of his time in the evidence room, taking a magnifying glass to every shard of evidence that they had on the evil villain. For three days he did not even emerge from the dimly lit walls encasing him, causing him to taken in neither food nor drink. With such a deeply rooted tension, which was so strong that Raven felt it in every part of the tower, the purple haired girl was kept up at night. If, by chance, she was able to sleep, however, nightmares of Slade, Robin, and the rest of the team, sprung her awake and in pools of sweat. After such unpleasant encounters with her subconscious (this being her dreams, not trips to Nevermore) she would spend the next long hours of night reading, meditating, and cutting. After going back for seconds and thirds, she would begin to feel hopeless and disgusted with herself, making her want to cause more damage to herself. On top of all this, the relentless nights she endured made her all the more irritable (as if she wasn't enough). The whole team (aside from Robin, of course), witnessed her more-short-than-normal temper-her mood was so sour that even Beast Boy eradicated his jokes and walked on egg shells when Raven was present.

On the beginning of the fourth day in which Robin had failed to have contact with the group, Raven staggered out of her room, into the kitchen and "the room of living," as Starfire called it. Dark gray puff bags sat below her violet, blood shot eyes. Her fuse, as all could tell, was slim to none.

As Raven walked in, she saw Starfire petting Silkie on the couch, Cyborg at the table scarfing down a large stack of waffles, and Beast Boy doing something near the stove. If she wasn't so worn out, the fact that he was up earlier than her would have taken her aback.

"Mornin' Rae," Beast Boy said, now taking a whistling kettle off of the stove.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY TEA?!" she shouted, enraged. Three light bulbs burst. Beast Boy didn't even bat an eye, he just continued to pour the hot water in the cup he had previously gotten down.

"I thought you would want some. So I made it for you," he said simply. At this, Raven felt embarrassed by her outburst and guilty that she yelled at Beast Boy. She stood there, stunned, as Cyborg and Starfire watched the encounter take place. As Beast Boy now brought down a tea box from the cupboard above him, he looked at his friend of metal, then toward the door as a signal.

"Yo, uh, Star," Cyborg started, his mouth full of waffles, "I have to head down the mall to pick up some parts for the T-Car. You want to-"

"I am calling that the gun shoot me!" she said, practically running out of the room in excitement.

"It's calling shotgun, Star, shotgun!" Cyborg yelled as he dragged his feet, following her. "You owe me," he thought, giving Beast Boy a knowing look.

"Here you go," Beast Boy said after they left, handing Raven the tea and motioning her to sit down at the table, to which she complied. The "green bean" sat right across from the sleep deprived girl, looking at her as she breathed in the aroma of the tea, then took a small sip of it.

"Thank you," she said abruptly "This is quite... nice. I'm sorry for yelling at you," she added.

"You needed something," Beast Boy's tone was simple yet again. Raven pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes.

"How did you know?" she asked, now taking another sip.

"You haven't been sleeping. At all."

"How do you-"

"Animal hearing, Dude." This sent Raven's mind into a frenzy. Could he hear her when she spoke to her emotions? Could he hear them as well? Did he know the terrible acts she delved herself into? On the outside, however, she remained cool as a cucumber, merely raising an eyebrow.

"You can hear me?" she asked, monotoned as always.

"Not real words. I can't tell what you're saying, but I hear you fidget a lot," he explained. She accepted his answer and calmed herself. They seemed to remain quiet through Raven's silent sips, staring out of the large window.

"I can tell you're having nightmares, though," Beast Boy said abruptly.

"How-"

"I can just tell. I don't know how to explain it. But you just proved me right." The truth was, he could explain it. He could explain that he knew she had nightmares daily sense Trigon's presence on Earth, or explain to her that he had nightmares equally as terrifying as hers since he was eight years old, after seeing his parents die. Raven knew none of this, though, as the boy kept most of his past a secret, only giving Cyborg small tidbits here and there.

"He sounds so... adult," she thought, sitting with her as she drank her tea. "He didn't mock me, didn't try to make a joke about anything, and most of all, he's kept calm." After thinking about these points very briefly, she was brought back to the real world and proceeded to pinch the bridge of her nose while closing her eyes.

"Robin has to come out of that room, or every light bulb, window, and TV is going to shatter," she remarked.

"So Robin is doing this to you?" Beast Boy asked, trying to understand.

"Not intentionally. This emotions and disdain for Slade are SO strong that I can't shake it." Rarely did the empath add emphasis to a word unless heated with anger. The green teen rubbed his chin in thought. "I'll try to talk to him," Raven said, scooting her chair back to rise, but Beast Boy was quicker.

"I got it, Dude. You drink your tea," Beast Boy said, lightly placing a hand on her right shoulder as he walked by as his hand followed behind him. Raven pushed her self closer to the table once again, sipping away at her tea slowly, thinking all the while.

"Have I been that bad that Beast Boy is taking up the responsibility to pull Robin out of the dark hole? Where did such niceness stem from? When was the stem planted?" Question after question rolled into her mind as she felt Robin's emotions fluctuate, going from an angry passion, to annoyance, tension, and finally, defeat. Raven sighed as a 500 pound weight was lifted off of her brain; her sighing ended as she saw Beast Boy, followed by Robin, entered the room in which she sat.

"I'll make you something," Beast Boy said to the obviously tired and overworked masked bird boy. Robin took a seat to the left of Raven at the table, who was just finishing the last of her tea.

"You too, huh?" Robin said to Raven, referring to the lack of sleep that was obviously written all over her face.

"Mhm," Raven simply said, taking the very last sip of what was left in her up as Beast Boy sat a sandwich and glass of water in front of Robin.

"Eat slowly," the green boy remarked. Robin nodded and mumbled a "thank you."

"Where are Starfire and Cyborg?" Robin asked after a few bites.

"You were gone to long and we didn't want to disturb you. Cyborg got Bee pregnant, so we had to have some baby shower thing in your room. Starfire left yesterday. Said something about running off with some gypsy pack," Beast Boy said nonchalantly. Raven heaved a sigh and rolled her puffy eyes.

"They both went to the mall. Cyborg needed parts for his car. Starfire wants to see how many pink and purple dresses will fit into her closet before it explodes," Raven said. Beast Boy chuckled at her remark as he cleaned up from his sandwich making. Once finished with his eating, Robin stretched out his arms.

"Erahh, I think I'm going to take a small nap," said the boy wonder as he stood up and carried his plate to the sink, then walked out, heading for his room. Raven took her cup and she too put her dish in the sink.

"I'm going to read," Raven informed the green boy who was setting up a video game. He turned and picked up a book from the table behind him, holding it in the air where Raven could see. She levitated her way toward the boy, was handed her book, and sat on the couch two cushions away from him. She peeked over her book every so often to see Beast Boy's progress and facial expressions. It was quite evident that he was forcing himself to stay silent so the empath could relax. She appreciated his unspoken actions. Forty minutes later, he glanced at the girl, then did a double take when he noticed that she was fast asleep with the open book upon her face. As he arose to move toward her, he heard Starfire and Cyborg almost bust through the door.

"Glorious-" Starfire, who had about seven shopping bags in her hands, was cut off by the green one, who moved his index finger to his lips very quickly. "Oh," the alien girl mouthed.

"Robin asleep, too?" Cyborg now asked, seeing Raven's head limp on the arm of the couch. Beast Boy shook his head yes. Starfire dropped everything and flew to his room, silent once she approached his door and opened it as quietly as she could, but still awoke the boy wonder.

"I thought you might be wanting the company in your state of sleeping," Starfire said slightly more quietly than she normally was. Robin ran a hand through his black hair and scooted to make room for the alien girl. She took off her purple boots and laid beside him with is arm wrapped around her waist.

"We may start the napping, now," Starfire informed him after she was situated. Robin chuckled sleepily and pulled her closer to him, breathing her in before he went back to sleep.

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Beast Boy carefully removed the book from off of Raven, marking her spot before putting it back on the table which was now technically behind him since he was facing the couch.

"Two players?" Cyborg asked him very quietly as he laid down the book. Beast Boy nodded his head in approval. After doing so, the green tinted boy carefully placed one of his tone arms between Raven's neck and the couch, with the other where the knee allows the leg to bend, and picked her up bridal style, surprised at how light her body was. After making his way into her room, he laid her on her bed very softly, to which she stirred but never woke up. He got on his knees to cover her up with her blanket and moved a piece of her purple hair out of her perfect porcelain face while he smiled.

"She looks so...vulnerable," he thought to himself as he stare at her, "so...fragile. So tender. So beautiful. How gentle I would be if I was only given the chance." At this remark of his, he hung his head as if out of defeat, but quickly lifted it back up and smiled a sad, sweet smile.

"Dream well, Rae," he said to the sleeping girl right in front of his face and kissed the jewel on her forehead before quietly making his leave.

**I hope you guys liked this chapter; I managed to put a little RobStar in it for you. The whole deal with Slade is coming-the next chapter is the plan, so bare with me. I feel like I've been dragging it out, but it's coming, I promise! I am hoping that you get a sense of Beast Boy's maturity for this chapter (hint hint). Leave me a review if you could! Thanks so much for you continued support!**


	15. Chapter 14: Ruffling Feathers

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, nor do I own Poe's poem The Raven. I do, however, take credit for the witty manner in which it was used.**

Chapter 14: Ruffling Feathers

Not many days after Robin finally emerged from the confinements of the evidence room, double trouble with Cinderblock and Plasmus at a landfill brewed.

"Awww come on!" Cyborg complained as the team met together at their location, "couldn't they have picked somewhere cleaner?"

"Dude! It smells like the dinner Star tried to fix the other night!" Beast Boy agreed.

"You're room is twice as bad as this," Raven said monotoned in reply to Beast Boy. Cyborg chuckled. Robin ignored the whole conversation.

"Titans! Go!" he shouted.

Plasmus went around to every 18 wheeled truck in the landfill, gulping down the lime green liquid slime inside of them, while Cynderblock merely destroyed all in his way.

The Titans ran toward the villains, Starfire being the first one to throw a punch (a starbolt rather), directing it toward Plasmus. She hurled one of her green circles, one after the other at the wine colored blob of goo before finally using her eyes to split him right in half, to which he, of course, put himself back together like a liquid Humpty Dumpty. At this, Robin threw explosives at the monster, but again, Plasmus seemed immune to their tactics. Getting annoyed by them interrupting his meal, he sent his fluids towards them.

"Why must there be so much of the nasty, today?" Starfire grunted at Robin as she tried to wiggle herself out of the muck.

"It'll get really dirty after I wipe the floor with him!" Robin grunted back, struggling as well.

Cyborg, Raven, and Beast Boy were in the middle of trying to "make Cinderblock crumble" as Beast Boy put it, earning a grown from Cyborg and an eye roll from Raven

"Hey! You laugh at her jokes!" Beast Boy said before turning into a kangaroo. He jumped back, landing on his tail, then kicked Cinderblock from behind. The stoned creature turned back to send rage upon the green animal, but was hit by blue electricity on the side of the head.

"They can't be workin' by themselves," Cyborg said loudly to no one in particular as he continued to back up and shoot at the villain coming towards him.

"Yeah, this one's as dumb as a brick!" Beast Boy punned before turning into an eagle so he could claw Cinderblock's face.

"Can we just get this over with so he'll stop?" Raven said aloud. She then picked up a nearby junk car with her dark energy.

"Stonewall Jackson too much for you, Dude?" Beast Boy called to her before turning into a tiger to claw at Cinderblock. Raven sighed very loudly and called back to him: "I meant_ you_!"

"Azarath Metron Zenthus!" she then shouted, so as to send the car flying over to Cinderblock. As soon as she released it, though, everything around her turned to black and her friends, as well as the ones she was fighting, disappeared. Only a spotlight that shown on her was present. She turned around to scope out any other source of light while putting the hood of her cloak up, as was a natural reaction for her. Steps then crept forward toward her. They were heavy and the shoes were obviously made of metal.

"Whose there?" Raven asked, slightly fearful, but her voice did not let such emotion come through.

"You're such a smart girl, my pretty bird, I thought you would know." The voice was eerie and irked her. Slade was in front of her and her teammates were nowhere in sight. The closer he got, the more a spotlight was shown upon him as well. Fear was now thrust forward in Raven's mind by Rage and Annoyance. Still, the gray girl's facial expression stayed cold.

"What do you want from me? If it's Trigon's power, I cannot give it to you, so you attempting to capture me for it is pointless," she said. Annoyance was now standing side by side with Fear. Slade's eye now narrowed in anger, annoyed that the Raven, who was just three steps in front of him, would insinuate that he was so stupid.

"You will NEVER mention his name!" Slade shouted at her, loosing his temper. Fear felt small. Annoyance felt large. Rage waited until she could jump between them both. Raven merely blinked. Slade took a deep breath in, exhaling right after.

"I have a proposition for you, one in which will not require your capture. No, you will come to me." Slade said, now in control of himself once more. Raven blinked again.

"You will help me restore something that was taken from me. Something only you can-something only you will- give back to me," Slade vaguely explained, firmly.

"I see no reason to help you," Raven said, picking her words carefully, refraining from dry humor.

"I thought you might say that; that is why I have given you a reason." Slade lifted up his right hand to the level of his neck and held it out by letting his wrist fall at a ninety degree angle. Floating above it appeared a small, green rag like doll with button eyes, fabric of purple tied around it's neck, covering it's stubby feet, with green hair like that of a bear glued to the top of it's head. All in all, it looked ridiculous-so ridiculous that Raven had to conceal her laughter to keep her face like stone.

"Do you know what this is?" Slade asked her seriously.

"A three year old's doll of Beast Boy? I guess someone has to like him." She couldn't resist, mumbling the last sentence.

"Amusing," Slade said, obviously unamused, "but wrong. This, my grim pet, is a voodoo doll, made from... a mutual friend of ours," Slade said in an intimidating, but again, vague, tone. Raven raised her eyebrow, but stared at the childish looking toy floating in midair. The purple fabric was a ripping from Beast Boy's suit and the hair... well, considering as much as he gets thrown around during battle, that could have come from anywhere. Even though the doll looked like it was made correctly, Raven, an expert at such spiritualistic creations, was skeptical.

"How do I even know that it works?" she questioned him. Unseen to Raven, Slade smiled beneath the metal upon his face.

"I will...test it for three days. On the fourth day, the green one will die. Unless, of course, you meet me in the ally behind 6th Street at 12 o'clock midnight. Don't forget, three days from now. The longer you wait, the more pain Beast Boy will endure," Slade explained to the girl as if she was a five year old. Raven opened her mouth to say something dry, but Slade cut her off. "And I know how that demoness mind of yours works. Your healing powers are immune to the effects I will have upon the boys body." Raven open her mouth again, but still, Slade spoke.

"Your questions will be answered, my ebony bird, after your feet coming tapping down the ally. If you do not, your friend will be here, nevermore." Slade smirked now at his wittiness.  
With this, the blackness around Raven blew away with a chilling wind, as did Slade. A bright light now seemed to blind her as she was brought back to reality; brought back to a room of glass and beeping machines.

**Now you sort of know what Slade has up his sleeve ;) More to come shortly! Leave a review!**


	16. Chapter 15: Interuptions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, there is one mention of self harm, but nothing comes of it.**

Chapter 15: Interuptions

Raven shielded her eyes from the light that streamed through them as she let her pupils adjust. She then looked around the room she was in. She lie on a white bed with a hunk of metal beeping beside her, showing her heart rate. Monitors were hooked up to her forehead to scan her brainwaves. Glass encased the whole scene.

"Awesome. I'm in sick bay," Raven thought to herself bitterly.

"Wonderful! You have done the awakening!" Starfire said as she levitated into the room, the guys following straight behind her. The alien opened her arms to give the half demon a bone crushing hug, but Raven held up her left hand, so as to say "stop."

"Give her some space, Star," Cyborg said as he looked at the heart monitor and scribbled some notes down on the clipboard and paper he was holding. "How ya feelin', Rae?" he now asked her. Raven now sat up, took the scanners off of her head, and had her feet on the floor while she still sat in the bed with all of her team facing her.

"Fine," she said blandly.

"You picked up that car back during the battle, then you passed out," Robin now spoke.

"If BB didn't catch you, you would've ended up with a concussion," Cyborg explained, now looking at the past scans of her brain. Raven turned to Beast Boy, who gave her a full toothed smile, then turned her attention back to everyone else.

"Raven, what happened while you were passed out? Did someone contact you? Did-"

"Robin, I said I'm fine," she said, her voice its normal toneless, scratchy self. Cyborg had now come back over the group and offered his two cents:

"Your brain scans show that you were active during your sleep; like you were talking to someone."

"Did your father-" Starfire was cut off very abruptly.

"NO!" Raven hissed, more angry and annoyed than anything else for the sole reason that Starfire called Trigon her father.

"We can-" Robin was now cut off.

"For the last time, I am fine. My emotions are in shock because of your complete mood swing from tearing me down with this whole Slade nonsense, to you feeling fine as day. When I tried to summon them to throw the car, they took me to Nevermore. That's who I was talking to. Happy now?" Raven lied.

"So you are...alright," Starfire piped up again. Raven pinched her nose and closed her eyes as she spoke.

"Yes, Starfire, I am alright. I would appreciate it if everyone would stop the twenty questions and just let me read." Raven then opened her eyes and looked directly at Beast Boy; her eyes lay upon him as cold as an arctic glacier, "WITHOUT interruption," she emphasized. Beast Boy's ears drooped and he turned his green eyes to the floor. The annoyed half human now stood up, relieving herself from the white bed, as she wrapped her cloak tighter around herself and put up her hood. Everyone moved out of her way as she made her walked to the door. Finally, her feet had been dragged to her room where she landed on her bed. She thought about cutting, but decided to fight the urge, much to Rage's dismay, for Raven realized that such action would slow her down.

She floated over her bed, legs crossed, with the hood of her cloak down. She closed her eyes and chanted her mantra: Azarath Metron Zenthus. She did so over and over until she was in Knowledge's domain.

The yellow cloaked girl with glasses lived in a single room where twenty foot book shelves, one placed on each wall, was packed full. In the very center of the room, Knowledge sat at a quaint desk with a book in front of her and a small lamp to her right.

"Your presence was expected," Knowledge said to Raven as "the pretty bird" made her way over to the desk. Knowledge shut her book and arose from her chair, carrying herself to the book shelf to the far left.

"What I saw with Slade, was it one of you playing a trick on me?" Raven asked, her voice lifeless as ever.

"It was not," replied the emotion, "I am not sure that we are even capable to such trickery. What you saw, it was all very real."

"He was in my mind?!" Raven was livid.

"Not quite," Knowledge said, placing the book back on the bottom shelf, "if that was the case, Wisdom, Brave, Rage, myself, and the like, would all have been present. The communication tactic he used was more telepathic."

"But how-"

"Wisdom and I have been conversing over such tactics. We have come up with no results."

"Do you think-"

"The voodoo doll he posses could very well be real, especially taking into account his telepathic communication abilities." Raven paused before asking her next question, then proceeded.

"Should I-," Knowledge did not plan on cutting her off this time, so Raven kept speaking, "should I take him up on his...proposition?" Knowledge was now the one who paused.

"Wisdom and I pondered over this while in each others company as well. We thought it best if-"

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Hey Rae," came the voice of the boy in question through the metal door, "I know you told me not to bother you, Dude, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed really annoyed and-" Raven opened the door, but only far enough to where her left eye and half of her mouth was seen.

"I am annoyed because you aren't leaving me alone," she said plainly. Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck.

"I thought you might want to do something fun. Ya know, take your mind off of whatever is bothering you," the boy offered.

"The only thing bothering me is you," she said coldly before shutting the door in his face.

**I know that this doesn't answer many questions, but that's the point :P More to come soon! Please, please leave a review! Thanks for reading :)**


	17. Chapter 16: A Mind Made

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Or The Raven. **

Chapter 16: A Mind Made

Two days had gone by since Raven's last encounter with Slade. Robin have been pretty suspicious with the excuse she gave when pressured about her passing out, but questioned her no further. On the first day, things were fairly normal in the tower. Robin and Starfire had went out for a few hours to God knows where, while Cyborg and Beast Boy played video games, while Raven sat on the couch next to them as she peeked over her book every so often to check on the status of Beast Boy's movements. Noon hit and he seemed normal.

He and the half robot stretched.

"I think my fingers need a break from kicking your green butt, Grass Stain," Cyborg told him. Beast Boy rolled his eyes before offering to make the three Titans lunch.

"But I'm NOT touching meat," he added after his offer. Cyborg now rolled his eyes.

"How can anyone pass up feeling the cool deliciousness of roast beef?" he asked, rhetorically, to which Beast Boy ignored.

"You want anything to eat, Rae?" She thought about refusing, but her stomach loudly protested. "It said yes. I know, Dude. I speak whale," Beast Boy joked. Raven actually had to hold back a chuckle.

"I'll take a grilled cheese. Please," she added. Beast Boy now stood up, but his foot seemed to slip out from under him, causing him to flop right back on the couch. He looked around in bewilderment, but decided that his topple was due to his own clumsiness. Raven raised an eyebrow at him, not letting her thoughts take over her mouth.

"I guess my legs needed a little more waking up," Beast Boy said lightly. Raven blinked so as to acknowledge his words, but as she looked at her book, Knowledge now step forward in her mind so as to talk to her.

"I know what you're thinking," Raven began in her mind, "but he is a clumsy person. People fall. Besides, he's been just sitting there for hours. His legs very well could have fallen asleep."

"Do you not feel when your legs lose circulation? And do they not tingle? I worry that-"

"Worrying is pointless right now. All he did was fall back on the couch. It's not like he randomly started bleeding," Raven said, slightly annoyed. She should have knocked on wood.

Knowledge sighed and retreated back to her domain to meet up with Wisdom where they would chat over tea.

The next day approached, and with it came more "clumsiness" from Beast Boy, but in times and places where agility is vital to survival. He had tripped many times during the morning, sightly scaring Raven-though she would not admit this to anyone, including Knowledge. She ran out of petty excuses, however, during a battle with Mumbo Jumbo.

The teens had be swerving petty tricks such as small blasts from marbles, being turned into helpless animals (except for Beast Boy; he had to make sure he wasn't turned into a piece of furniture), and the like. Their battle had been taking place for about fifteen minutes when the green boy's tactics changed. Instead of moving out of the way of Mumbo's blast attacks, he headed right for them.

"Yo, B! What're you doin', man?!" Cyborg shouted at him while aiming for Mumbo's box; the magician had a created for himself a steal box, one in which the Titans' powers seemed futile in destroying, but allowed the villain to release his weapons upon them. Beast Boy stood directly in front of the small box, a mere six feet from Mumbo Jumbo.

"I don't know, Dude! I can't move!" Beast Boy shouted back. At this, Raven's eyes were widened.

"Beast Boy, get out of there!" Robin shouted back at him, unable to aim his explosives with the changeling in the way.

"I said I can't! Ugh!" Beast Boy cried back, grunting in pain from the tiny bombs hitting his body. One after the other rammed into him, obviously causing him a great deal of pain. Blood started pouring from his left arm and his right shoulder-and Raven had had enough.

"Azarath Metron Zenthus!" she shouted loudly, opening a portal inside the steel box to which Mumbo was caught in. She reopened the portal so that it opened in the air where she was, sending Mumbo to the ground below. Raven then let her feet gently touch the asphalt of the parking lot in which the battle was taking place and grabbed hold of Mumbo's body with her dark energy. Her eyes glowed black as she sent him plummeting from the sky to the ground and back again.

"Friend Raven! The Mumbo has been defeated! You must not do the killing of him!" Starfire shouted at her. Raven had almost blacked out; she was somewhat aware of what she was doing to the now terrified green man, but felt nothing except anger toward him. After Starfire pulled Raven out of her trance, the empath pushed the sneaky Rage from the forefront of her mind and made her way to the green boy.

"Sit," she commanded him as she saw the rest of the team help with the hauling Mumbo off to jail.

"It isn't that bad, Rae, I just need some st-"

"Sit," she said again. In his human form, Beast Boy did as he was told. Raven's dark energy trapped her hands as she moved them toward Beast's Boy's bloody shoulder. After a few moments, Raven removed her hands to check her progress. When she noticed that she had not even created a dent in her task, she became very embarrassed and upset all together but hid such feelings, of course. Beast Boy looked at her as he too noticed that the wound had not been feeling better at it normally did when he underwent healing at the hand of the violet haired girl. As is her reflex, Raven lifted the hood of her cloak so as to hide her face. She stood up and turned away from Beast Boy.

"Have Cyborg give you stitches," she told him monotonelessly and began to walk away.

"Rae are you-"

"Just do it, Beast Boy."

Raven spent the rest of the day in her room surrounded by her major emotions: Knowledge, Wisdom, Happy, Rage, Bravery, Sadness, and Timid who brought Fear along. As one could imagine, finding time alone with them without Robin interrupting to interrogate her was tricky, but he seemed to get the message that she was not in the mood to talk after she shattered three of the windows in the common room.

"We mustn't let Slade control us. If he does, who knows what destruction he can bring by using us," Wisdom started.

"Like Trigon used us..." Timid barely voiced.

"Then it would be all our fault..." said Fear, her words shaking as she sat huddled in the corner with Timid.

"And the green boy's life is at stake," Knowledge argued on the side of Timid and Fear. "When we joined the Titans, we swore to protect the lives of the citizens-all of the citizens-and to sacrifice ourselves for that cause."

"And what do we get in return? To say that we saved the life of some green freak that tells the world's worst jokes?" Rage scoffed.

"If Slade got a hold of us, it could be disaster for the world. We haven't a clue what he is planning. What if he still has some of Trigon's power?How will we be able to defeat him once he has us in his clutches? We were merely lucky the first time. I imagine we would not be a second," Wisdom brought up.

"I don't want Beast Boy to die. But I don't want to die either," Sadness sniffled.

"Come on guys! It will be an adventure! Lets do it!" Bravery said enthusiastically.

"We have to keep the green bean around-he's too funny to go to waste!" Happy agreed.

"NO!" Rage said, "I refuse to go! If we go, we are weak! Let the fucker die!"

"Are you all forgetting that Slade BLOCKED our powers? They don't WORK on Beast Boy. If Slade can do that, what else is he able to accomplish?" Wisdom sided again.

"We know, Wisdom. That is why we must go. If Slade does not use his newly found powers upon us, he will use them on others. Others that cannot afford to die," Knowledge debated.

"But-" Wisdom began but was cut off.

"ENOUGH!" Raven shouted at them, her head swimming, "I have until midnight tomorrow. I will make up my mind before then. Your help has served its purpose."

With her emotions gone, she cut without one of them bothering her, feeling empty all the while.

On the third, and final, day, Raven woke up with her mind made. Though she felt that saving Beast Boy was the more heroic, more humane thing to do, she knew that more would die in a much more painful way-perhaps the world would explode. The burden she would bare would be great, this she knew, but she had to sacrifice him for the greater good (or so she reasoned). Throughout the day, she felt more and more settled with the decision, for the green teen had not been clumsy at all. It was as if he was just stuck in some rut and was now making his way out of it. He glided during practice, even showing off for the team. Everything seemed back to normal.

"Slade's newly found powers must have warn off," Raven thought, "that figures. Humans are not made to control such power." So the day went on, uneventful and without pain.

11:45pm now rolled around. Raven smirked as her head hit her pillow. At 11:46pm, she was jerked away from her bed by the sound of a shill scream. At this, she levitated to the room across from her in great haste and proceeded to pound away at the door.

"BEAST BOY! What's wrong?! Open the door!" she yelled.

"AHHH IT HURTS!" he yelled back, "I CAN'T MOVE! It's everywhere, Rae! Make it stop!" he pleaded. Raven encased his metal door with darkness and ripped it aside. She turned on his light, revealing a large pool of ruby blood on Beast Boy's bed with him placed in the middle of it.

"Make it stop, Dude! Make it stop!" he yelled again as she hurried over to him.

"Where are you bleeding from?" she asked him quickly.

"My back-it won't-it won't stop. I didn't do anything, I swear! I was asleep and the-the next thing I know, I'm pulling a knife out from behind myself! But I don't remember! It hurts so bad-so bad-Rae," he said frantically and he gasped for air. Raven summoned her mantra from everywhere she could, but her attempts were futile. She looked into the eyes of the green boy, forcing herself to hold his gaze as he died in front of her. She stood, knowing her actions were pointless.

"I have to go," she said simply as she turned.

"Rae, don't-don't go! Please don't go! It hurts-hurts so bad! Why can't you make it? I need you!" he screamed with tears in his eyes.

"It is in your best interest if I leave. I am going to send Cyborg in here," she said, her voice in control of itself, barely.

"I-" Beast Boy began, but was cut off when Raven turned back to him and grabbed his wrist, both of them forcing their eyes to meet.

"No matter what happens, it is all for you," she said. Quickly, she released his wrist and turned back to the broken door, now levitating toward it.

"I don't under-"

"And it is worth it," she whispered as she left. Losing no time, she made her way to the robot's door.

"Beast Boy needs you. NOW!" she shouted as she banged on Cyborg's door. She heard him shuffle off of his metal slab toward his entrance and exit, hissing as it opened.

"Are you-"

"GO!" she commanded. Cyborg could now the fear in her eyes clearly and awoke himself. Quickly, he ran for Beast Boy's door.

Soon, the alien girl and boy wonder were shaken out of sleep as well, gathering in the room of the green boy while Raven slipped out of the door of the Tower and into the cold night. She caught a glimpse of a clock on one of the walls; it read "11:55pm" back at her.

"This much chaos is able to brew in just ten minutes?" she thought to herself.

So as to not miss her deadline, the empath created a portal to the entrance of the old ally. Trashcans full of unwanted food, toys, and a collection of various animal droppings assaulted her nose. Old pizza lay out, along with browned banana peels and spoiled meat. Flies buzzed all around at the feast laid out for them, with rats scurrying this way and that.

"This is what the tower would look like if Beast Boy was our maid," she thought to herself, amusingly. The thought of her friends, however, saddened her deeply so she forced the thought as far out of her mind as she could.

After taking in as much nastiness as she could, she made her way to the back of the alley.

"Is that my dear Raven's feet whom I hear tapping?" Slade asked, coming out of the darkness of the alley into the light. Raven now put up her hood. "You are just in time, my dear. I was hoping I was going to be able to destroy the green boy," he now held out Beast Boy's voodoo doll by the back of its shirt. He turned it so that the empath could see the back of it where he had gauged a hole. "Pity," he finished.

"I'm here now; what do you want?" Raven demanded. Slade chuckled.

"Come now, first thing is first. We must go to my chamber door. I have an old friend of yours that is dying to see you again." She could feel him smirk behind his mask.

"And if I don't go?" At this question, Slade now grew solemn.

"It would be a pity if such a... cute doll's head went missing. Don't you agree?" Raven frowned at his reply. "Come, my pretty bird, much awaits you."

**So, in the next chapter you will finally learn more about Slade's plans and who this new mystery person is... well, I wouldn't say new... I would-just wait for the next chapter ;) Chapter 18 is what really unfolds everything (if I have my chapters correct in my mind). I'm sorry that this seems like it has kind of moved away from self harm, but I promise you that it hasn't. I am also sorry if it doesn't seem like there is a lot of BBxRae. That is coming, too. There is a method for my madness. Thanks so much for the continued support! Please leave a review!**


	18. Chapter 17: Bound Again

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. The spells in this story were random buttons I pressed, consisting of some consonants and vowels; none of them have any real meaning or significance.**

Chapter 17: Bound Again

Raven dragged her feet, following Slade.

"You aren't going to blindfold me?" she asked, her hood and right eyebrow up. Slade smiled beneath his mask.

"Where we are going, no one will ever be able to find you."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Raven thought, but did not let her words escape from her mind.

The two walked and walked, keeping in the dark so no one would see them. Slade led the demoness deep into a large patch of woods at the very edge of the city. They seemed to walk for hours, it seemed. Raven took in her surroundings, and unlike the nastiness of the alley way, she enjoyed it. Most would find the forest creepy during the night, but it seemed just right for the girl. Slightly cool when the wind blew, the aroma of ceder filling her nose, the calming noise of owls giving off hoots in the trees, crickets chirping, leaves crinkling beneath her feet as she walked. She wished she could just lean against a large tree, sit on a small patch of lush grass, dig deep into one of her books and let all of her anxiety wash away from her soul, as the waves of the ocean does the sand.

"We stop here," Slade said finally, pulling Raven out of her daydream. In front of her stood a huge oak tree-the biggest she had ever seen. It's branches hefty enough to be medium sized trees themselves. She could only image how deep and wide the roots of the whole thing spread; it had to be the life of the forest.

Slade now stood at the very center of the bottom of the large hunk of timber.

"Feredos Hozoetes Caverness en Ingian Devegia!" he shouted. There, right in front of them, opened a portal like Raven's, covered in darkness. She looked at him, and behind her eyes in a place far enough off that he was unable to see, Fear rocked back and forth, growing bigger by the second.

"How did you..." Raven's voice faded. Slade smiled again.

"All in due time, my dear. Come, see your new home." The vengeful man took Raven by the arm, squeezing it tight enough to let her know that he was not going to let go. With her free hand Raven knocked something out of her cloak. Something round and copper. Something that once seemed to have saved her life. This object sat in front of the portal, barely far enough away so that it would not go down the same path she was on, and was small enough to go unnoticed by the one bruising her arm.

Once in the portal, Slade sat down cross legged as Raven did when meditating, chanting different words of dark magic as he did so. Raven stood as far away from him as she could, partly because she hated his presence, and partly because she feared that if his concentration was broken, they would be stuck in the darkness forever...together. That was one of the last things she wanted to happen.

"...Wentros Texech," Slade finished mumbling. Another oval for a portal opened in front of them once again, revealing the last of the day's light-which was quite odd, because it was around two o'clock in the morning when they passed through the portal. When Raven finally stepped out, bruising on her other arm now taking place, she saw the sun setting over a vast amount of nothingness except prairie for what looked like miles and miles. As she turned to her right, she noticed it: a large, abandoned old mansion, resembling an old plantation used by the South during times of slavery. The wood was rotting in some parts, but seemed fairly stable over all-at least from where she could tell about one hundred and fifty feet away. It was white (though the color was fading and chipped) with dark green shutters. Tall dry grass had grown in front of it every which way, adding to the abandoned feeling it gave. Some how, despide the eeriness of the whole place, beauty in such a mysterious building shown through. Beauty that would give anyone chills.

"Lovely, isn't it?" Slade said, bringing Raven out of another day dream. "Too bad you will only be seeing one room of it," he smirked again, then, under his breath added, "if you can call it a room." Before hauling her off up the creaky stairs leading up to the plantation like building, Before doing so, Slade closed the portal, shouting yet another dark spell.

And so, Raven was hauled into the house, the floor creaking as both hero and villain moved. As could be imagined, the floors were wooden everywhere, as far as the eye could see. Obviously old furniture encased the use-to-be home: a couch here, a dusty chandelier there, a desk for writing, the whole nine yards. Through the living room Raven was dragged, then after passing through a door, which shut and locked behind her and Slade, was led down a rather long flight of stairs into a very, very large basement. Unlike the rest of the house, it was quite modern with high tech computers and doctors equipment taking up the wall (the very big wall) in the back of the "room." On the wall to the left of it sat a ball and chain, as well as metal clasps to hold up the hands of a person. It was like what an evil old king would use as punishment; a device located below the castle.

"This will be your nesting place, sweet Raven," Slade said, gesturing toward the contraption. Slade pushed her over to it, ripping off her cloak before he set her up in it. She felt like a naked prisoner in a dungeon: her arms chained, so the reached for the sky and slack of the chains only given by an old turning wheel made of wood. An old slave's ball and chain was clamped on to her right ankle. A wall of gritty stone was the only thing she had to lean upon-when slack was given to her arms. On top of it all, she felt like a helpless little girl and the urge to cut crashed down upon her like an avalanche that would soon over take her, and no matter how much running she did, she would not be able to escape evil Frosty's grasp.

If Raven could see behind Slade's mask as he looked at the vulnerable teenager in front of him, she would see the disgusting act of him imagining to lick his lips, unseen but felt by her. Raven coughed awkwardly so as to get him to hurry up with his so called plans. After blinking his eye once, he was brought back to reality.

"The amount of college tech students it took to build my section of the room," he said, gesturing to the gadgets, "was uncanny. Of course, I had to depose of them all. And you wouldn't believe how long it took me to find off of the... materials. The materials for your section [as reference to the chains and such] was a very enlightening experience. In school, they teach you that the dark ages were obviously bleak, but just bleak enough for my taste." And then, more silently, he hinted, "I imagine you come with the same sweet darkness, my ebony raven." At this Raven rolled her eyes, so as to say "get on with it."

"It was a rush, I might add, going back in time and all." He looked for a reaction on her face. "You look indifferent. No matter," he waved his hand in the air as if to shoo something away that was not there, "that will change in time. Where was I? Oh yes, time travel. I have learned many things from the new magic I possess. Magic, magic," he now tapped his finger where his lips should be, "how could I forget? You'll want to be reunited with that old friend I told you about previously. Without him, none of this would have been possible."

Slade grabbed a remote from off of one of his pieces of equipment and pressed the red button in the center. The wall across from Raven then turned (like in Scooby Doo), leaving a glass cage in it's place. Inside the glass cage sat a stand with a book upon it and a circle of sand and spices surrounding it.

"Venueros Trackes!" Slade seemed to command it. The book flew open, it's pages ripping into stands longways, forming into a body right in front of the stand. Once complete, the the papered body turned and faced Raven with the most piercing blue eyes she had ever witnessed. Eyes that were branded into her mind.

**Ohhh what did Raven drop? Who is this "old friend?" Where is Raven? Why am I asking such ridiculous questions that I know the answers to? Next chapter, it all unfolds. Find out everything. You're support for my story is beyond appreciated. Tara, my beta reader, you're awesome! Leave a review :)**


	19. Chapter 18: Stepping Into Fire

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, there is a ****trigger warning**** for this chapter.**

Chapter 18: Stepping Into Fire

"Malchior." The name spat out of Raven's mouth like venom. All of the lies, the fight, the feelings for him that she had long ago suppressed now came to the surface of her mind. It all made sense now to the girl: Slade being able to get her alone as he did, the voodoo doll of Beast Boy, the portals, everything. How she now spited Malchior even more for going along with this-for putting her friend in danger. Oh yes, she told herself that she was going to sacrifice Beast Boy, but she was half human, after all. And, as much as she would hate to admit it, if Beast Boy died, so would a part of her soul.

"I should have burned that book when I was given the chance. You will not get away with this-either of you!" she shouted.

"But you still do not know what I am planning to get away with, my ebony bird. Let me enlighten you," Slade said before making his way over to his high tech toys and doctors' equipment. "Do you see this?" he asked her, pulling out from the clutter a device with many long wires hooked up to a metal machine. The ends of the wires had circular pads upon them. Raven recognized it as being a contraption Cyborg would use when scanning the brain waves of a Titan in critical condition. Raven blinked so as to answer Slade's question (for she had brought her face back to its emotionless state), so he went on.

"It is called an electroencephalography [try saying that five times fast] machine, or an EEG for short. It was originally made to chart brain activity but I have had it... altered." Raven squinted her eyes at this vague description. "With demanded help from the tech students I previously mentioned, I have made the device do more than just create chart. It feeds." He looked at her for any slight change of expression. When he found none, he went on.

"What does it feed, you ask? Well, it's all very simple, really. It feeds off of you and gives it to me. Not your flesh, of course. That will be my job," the last part said slyly before he continued, "no, this EEG machine will feed off of the energy you give me," he seemed to leave it at that.  
Raven, being thoroughly confused at how this was supposed to help him in any fashion, was forced to beg the following questions:

"And what is that suppose to do for you? How are you suppose to "be fed" my energy? Why do any of this?" Slade smiled at her curiosity.

"You are sprucing up what your father [Raven grew hot at his choice of wording, but kept silent] made me steal back. The day the world was supposed to end, I was able to show Robin in which direction to find you, as I am sure you are already aware of. We, however split ways after a certain period of time-he going to find you, I going to find my own flesh and blood. I fought that damned gate keeper for what was mine! For what I earned!" he was now in a fit of a passion of anger, but then composed himself again. "I received my skin, my organs, what have you. But it was tainted. It was burned all over! Bullet holes in it! Slashes all over my body! Pieces of my body missing! Chunks taken out!" The anger had quickly come back. "But you," he calmed, "you are going to revive it. Make it so that it is young, fresh, and wholesome once again. The energy you give off will fuel my suit," he tapped on it, "and start fixing what was take from me. Once my body is mended, I will keep feeding off you, earning back some of the perks I received when working for The Devil. I will start off using tools, such as the ones I used when... reuniting with your team in the warehouse. After a while, it should become a part of me. And then, I will take down every Titan, one by one. You being the first, and eventually, the last," he finally concluded.

Raven asked her second question yet another time:

"And how do you expect to draw my energy out?"

"That will take work on my part. The angrier or more scared you become, the more energy you will release to me. Your days, they will be long and quite painful, I assure you. Bliss for me, really. Your very existence sent me to hell; I am merely returning the favor," he smiled then, as deeply as he could. "If you play your cards right," he held out the voodoo doll of Beast Boy, "I will not be forced to use this." Then, his large screen beeped. He made his way over to it, pressing a few buttons.

"I am off," he said now, "which leaves you two time to get... reacquainted." His feet sounded like hammers as he walked up the stairs.

Once the steps faded, Raven looked across the way to a mummy wrapped man, who had been quiet all the while.

"You helped him. It's your fault I am here. What did he promise you? To see my demise? To let you roam Earth free? To-" she was cut off.

"I am just as helpless as you are!" he shouted, "the powers he has, he tricked me and forced me to give to him."

"I—I don't understand..." Raven's voice faded. Malchior sighed, getting ready to tell a story.

"This Slade fellow, he hired a woman, a witch doctor as they are called, to create that voodoo doll of the green one. He claimed that it was completed just days after one of your encounters. He said something about beating the green one badly." Raven tried to follow, remembering the massive clump of hair ripped off of Beast Boy during the warehouse battle as Slade gave him a nasty gash. The dark spirit continued.

"Slade then used the boy to retrieve me. You were deeply asleep and the green one sleep walking. The box I was stashed away in was carried outside to a location that I was unaware of, for it was too dark to see. After the boy gave Slade the box, Slade sent the green one back to your home. Slade proceeded to open it, then he opened my book. He claimed that he could set me free from this, that we would be partners, and that we would eradicate you-" Raven stopped him,

"You sound like such a victim," she said sarcastically in her monotone, but Malchior chose not to acknowledge it and pressed on.

"He told me that if I gave him powers, powers of dark magic as I had given you, we would succeed. And so I did. I taught him at first, not wanting to give him information in the way I did for you. Since you are half demon, you are able to consume such a vast amount of heavy knowledge all at once, but the same is not the case for full blooded humans. Their minds are made so that they learn and hold a little at a time. If such a heavy load is dropped upon them, it will become too much for them. Their brain will tire out and they will... how do I put this... go crazy? Eventually they hear the amount of knowledge they consumed read to them all at once. This makes them weak and tire out. I tried explaining this to the metaled human, but he insisted I line his whole mind with the spells of dark magic. After doing so, he created a portal here, to the dimension of Hok'ee. It is set up very much like Earth, according to my reading, but is preserved much better. There is little pollution and war has not happened in this dimension in over five hundred years." Malchior then switched the subject back. "He told me that I was a foolish, dusty old book. Little does he know that his knowledge will become his demise."

Raven was silent, for she was unaware in how to reply to such a load of information. Her half human side seemed to take over, because she all of a sudden had a headache from the details that had just been revealed to her. To make matters worse, she noticed that Rage, Annoyance, and Fear had all been tugging at her since Slade started to talk of his plans (she just subconsciously ignored them for that period of time). If her arms and legs were free, she may have been able to silence them some through meditation , but she knew not completely.

The weight on her shoulders and the pain in her stomach quickly over took her. Plans of Slade, the presence of Malchior, and the absence of her friends all flashed in her mind, quickly and together.

All at once, without thinking, she forced her body to ram into the gritty, rugged wall behind her, hoping to find relief out of something-anything. Bruising had never been her first choice when it came to self harming, and did very little for her, but something was always better than nothing.

Malchior kept silent, looking at the girl as if she was crazy all the while.

Raven eventually grew tired and let the pain settle. The pain was a dull ache and she imagined her skin turning different shades of blue, black, and purple—she had even managed to tear up part of her leotard.

After her aching set in, she felt a tiny bit calmer. Soon, though, her calmness faded. She felt trapped, like she was in a box that had no way out. She desperately wanted to try to bruise herself once again, but found it very tiresome. Still, she needed to feel _something__._

She tried once more to ram her body into the wall behind her, succeeding in achieving pain, the thoughts of all of her anxieties passing through her mind as they did before. She scraped herself as best she could, feeling a little blood flow down the back of her thigh. It seemed to be a tease as she could feel it drip, but not see it. She grunted as her body collided with the wall, bruising her back and the back of her thighs.

After a while, weakness and sleep over took her, both in one swoop. Malchior, still watching, shook his head in disbelief.

"Perhaps you are just creepy," he whispered—his words being the last Raven heard as she closed her eyes.

**I hope this chapter wasn't confusing! Now you know why Slade wanted Raven. Much more to come, and not just with Raven. By the way, electroencephalography is a real thing. Actually, it's really cool, but I'm a nerd :P Also, Ho'kee is not a place at all. It's Native American for "abandoned." Thanks soo much for reading! Leave a review, please! :)**


	20. Chapter 19: Syncing As One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans**

Chapter 19: Syncing As One

_Right after Cyborg made it into Beast Boys room._

"B! Why are you bleeding?!" Cyborg shouted, stepping on everything in his way as he breathlessly made it over to his beloved friend.

"I don't-don't know! Make it stop, Cy. Dude, make it stop! It hurts!" Beast Boy shouted back in agony and tears. Now, a sleepy Starfire and Robin walked in the dirty room at the same time. Starfire yawned.

"We heard the yelling and-" Cyborg moved out of the way, for he had been standing right in front of the green boy. Upon seeing her friend, Starfire gasped and Robin awoke intensely. Cyborg had taken clothes and blankets from all around him, pressing them to the deep, deep wound in hopes that he could stop the bleeding.

"Rob, help me get him down to the sick bay, _now_," Cyborg said with frantic urgency. With a screaming friend, a blood soaked blanket, and a tall, beautiful alien following behind, Robin and Cyborg walked Beast Boy down to the sick bay-Robin holding his feet and Cyborg his upper half.

While Beast Boy sat on the bed, Cyborg and Robin hooked up his IVs while Starfire kept hold on the gash, trying to calm him down but failing utterly.

"Where is Rae-Raven? Where did she go, Star? I-want Raven." Beast Boy said in hysterics.

"BB, BB, you gotta calm down," Cyborg said as he finished, taking Starfire's place. The redhead grabbed her green friend's hand quickly and began to squeeze, and for once, she wasn't crushing it. "I gotta get the bleeding to let up so I can give you stitches B. If you don't calm down, I can't do that. I'm not losin' you, man. I'm not losin' you." At this, Beast Boy forced himself back into control as well as he could, still gasping for breath, shaking and yelping at the pain encasing his whole back.

For what seemed like hours (though in reality, it was a few minutes), Beast Boy in agony, Starfire holding his hand in fear, Cyborg pushing on his best friend's back as hard as he could, the blood just flowing and flowing, and Robin, unable to help, watched all in an agony of his own. Finally, the pouring out of Beast Boy's blood upon the blankets and clothing ceased, all by itself. Cyborg looked astonished, but relieved at the same time, as did Starfire and Robin when he barked orders to them again.

"Robin, get me my stitching tools, Green Bean, bite down on this," he said, putting a clean towel in the boy's mouth, "Starfire... keep a hold of his hand, and let him squeeze as hard as he needs to."

"You don't want the stuff that numbs it?" Robin asked, confused as he dug up Cyborg's things.

"No time. If we don't stitch it now, we could loose him. Come on, man," Tin Man replied, motioning the Boy Wonder to quicken his pace.

Cyborg now took his surgical suture (needle and thread used for stitching humans, animals, etc.) to the green boy's back, pushing the needle into one side of the massive tear right over to the other while the thread made a line across. Again and again, Cyborg did this as Beast Boy bit, squeezed, and screamed in agony. After twenty-one stitches, it was over (except for a lot of pain-that was still there, just not as bad. Beast Boy was able to function more) and the friends let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Beast Boy, you need to-" Robin started, trying to be all business, but was cut off by Cyborg.

"You just need to rest, BB. Get some sleep. _Then _we can all talk."

"Yes, friend, you must do the resting," Starfire agreed.

"Maybe Robin is right; we need to find Ra-" Beast Boy tried.

"Don't worry, bro, we'll find her, but if you want to help us, you have to rest. Doctor's orders," Cyborg demanded lovingly. Beast Boy sighed in defeat.

On their way out, Cyborg ruffled his best friend's hair, Robin very lightly punched his shoulder, and Starfire, forcing herself not to give him a bone crushing hug, patted his arm, turning off the light on her way out.

"We have to get to the bottom of this," Robin demanded once outside the room as they looked in at Beast Boy through the glass, smashing his fist into his hand.

"First, boyfriend Robin, we too must do the resting," Starfire explained.

"But Star-"

"Please, Robin. I want to find friend Raven as well, but we cannot do so without sleeping."

"But Star-" The alien girl placed her index finger to the boy's lips, her green eyes sparkling. Robin lowered his head behind his mask in defeat. The girl took Robin's hand, leading him out of the room and into hers.

"Yeah, I'll just stay here, and ya know, keep an eye on Green Bean. Make sure nothing happens to him," Cyborg called after them. "Good talk," he said quietly to himself, pulling up a rolling chair for him to sleep uncomfortably in.

_A few hours later, back in the sick bay, Beast Boy still in the bed with the teens gathered around him._

"Beast Boy," Robin began promptly, "you need to tell us everything from the beginning."

"I-I don't know, Dude," he began, stuttering, "I went to sleep in my room, then I'm sitting up in bed, and suddenly, I feel pain. SO much pain. It was coming from my back so I went to touch it and feel something there-like a handle, so I grab it. The next thing I know, I have a knife in my hand with blood running down it, blood all over my bed and sheets, just blood everywhere." The boy stared off into space as if his mind was miles away from his body while he told the story. He snapped out of it and continued. "So I started screaming and then Raven started pounding the door, yelling for me. I couldn't really think about much except the pain. She tried healing me, I remember that, but her powers they... they didn't do anything..." his voice trailed off.

"Maybe you did not give friend Raven enough time for the healing," Starfire suggested.

"No, Dude. She did what she always does. It just... it didn't work. I yelled her name. Screamed her name. Begged her not to leave me. She just... she just left. We have to find her! She's out there! And-" Beast Boy became ignited now, partly by curiosity as to where the dark girl ran off to, and partly by worry and love. He gripped the railing of the bed and tried to lift himself up, but Cyborg stopped him while Robin cut him off.

"We'll find her, Beast Boy, but you still aren't ready to go anywhere."

"She's in trouble! We have to-"

"We WILL." Robin took a deep breath before he spoke his next words. "Did you guys have an argument beforehand?"

"What? No? I mean, yeah, we always do, but it wasn't-wait! Are you trying to say that she left because of me, Dude?!"

"I'm just trying to-"

"If she was so mad at me, she would have let me die! I didn't run her off!" Starfire put a hand tenderly on Beast Boy's shoulder.

"Please, friend, boyfriend Robin is just trying to find friend Raven. We miss her too." There was an awkward silence for a few moments.

"Has she been acting off at all?" Cyborg asked no one in particular, trying to take a crack at their mystery.

"I can't help but think that there was something... something wrong with her the day we were at the landfill," Robin voiced, scratching his chin.

"I too found it odd. We almost never see Plasmus and Cinderblock without another person controlling them," Starfire agreed.

"There was something... something she wasn't telling us. And I bet it has everything to do with," he gritted his teeth as the name came out of his mouth, "Slade."

"But if it was that, why wouldn't she tell us?" Beast Boy pondered aloud.

"Maybe she was scared," Cyborg added.

"Of Slade? Come on, Dude, this is _Raven _we're talking about here. You know, defeater of Trigon," Beast Boy pointed out, "she isn't scared of anything."

"Whatever her reason for leaving, I bet that if we find Slade, we find Raven," Robin said.

"But we NEVER find Slade! Not even when you spend all your time in that dark old room! We have to try something different, Dude!" Beast Boy complained.

"We don't have much of a choice, BB. Robin's right. Slade should lead us to Raven," said Cyborg.

"Come boyfriend Robin, we can start finding the Slade now," Starfire said in hopes that it would lift Beast Boy's (as well as her own) spirits.

"Starfire, I don't think-"

"_Together_," she demanded, yearning for her friend. The two (one reluctant) made their way out of the sick bay once more.

"We'll get her back soon, BB," Cyborg patted Beast Boy as he left the room, deciding to watch the boy from afar, "in the mean time, it wouldn't hurt for you to get a little more rest. You've had one hell of a night."

Beast Boy laid his head down after Cyborg left, but couldn't shut off his mind for a while. All he could think about was Raven. Her hair, her smell, and what little he had felt of her. Her skin looked so soft and smooth without flaw. How he wanted to wrap himself in all of it, just to hold her. He felt as if that was all he needed: her touch. He didn't need her body-not even a kiss (though he would never pass them up), just holding her, letting her know that he would never hurt her as so many had done, letting her know that his heart was so full of love that he wanted to just let it flow and drown her in a sea of it. Finally, his eyes gave in and shut, a small smile upon his face.

His mind was far from shut off, however. It raced with pictures of Slade and Raven in pain, screaming, crying in agony, sweat on her beautiful face. He tossed and turned until his body could take no more. His eyes shot open, his pupils shrinking. Beast Boy was pushed back as The Beast sprang forward, ripping the boy's clothes apart. Cyborg, asleep in the chair once again, was startled when he saw The Beast behind the glass and hit the alarm.

The Beast now saw red lights flashing everywhere. Feeling trapped, he broke the glass wall in front of him, growling partly because the broken glass hurt, and partly in the heat of finding _The One_. A part blue, part silver, part large black man now stood in front of him, yelling words at him, but he made nothing out of them. The creature didn't matter. All that mattered was finding _The One_. The Beast, instead of taking the stairs, simply broke the closest real wall around him to escape the said creature, and now one in green tights and a mask, as well as a tall orange girl in purple with red hair, who was flying. They too shouted words at him that he did not care (and wasn't intelligent enough) to make out.

The Beast ran out into what was left of the night, green glowing balls, small explosives, and lines of electric blue following behind him. He kept running, though, frantically trying to pick up the scent of _The One_. Something wrapped around him now, in lines, but he easily released himself from it. Things then were hitting him, things of green and blue, slowing him down.

"Star, Robin, keep him busy. I have something to shut him down, but I only get one shot!" Cyborg shouted to them. Starfire flew in front of her changed friend, her eyes and hands glowing a fierce green.

"Beast Boy, friend, I know you are in there so please forgive me," she apologized before striking him with her starbolts.

"Come on, Beast Boy, snap out of it," Robin said, before striking him on the leg with his staff, which had little effect. That was alright, though, because Starfire kept his vision blurred.

Cyborg, from a safe distance, knelt down on the pavement, aimed for his big, green, hairy target, and fired.

The Beast felt something prick the back of his shoulder, the liquid flow into it, dropping to his knees. Beast Boy started to come forward during the fall, aching as he did so.

Starfire picked up her bruised and (once again) bloody friend, his clothes ripped to shreds, frowning as she saw his body droop in her arms.

"We must find friend Raven. Soon," she said as Cyborg walked over.

"I have to set him up with some more IVs to combat the chemicals in the dart. They work, but they aren't exactly good for him," he explained.

"How are you going to do that when he destroyed the sick bay?" Robin questioned.

"He took out the walls, not anything else. We're good, man. We're good," Cyborg said as he started his walk back.

After ridding the bed of glass, Starfire set Beast Boy down once again as Cyborg and Robin did what they did. Soon, Beast Boy came to, his head feeling like it was splitting.

"What happened?" he groaned, "why are my clothes ripped? And dude? Since when did we decide to remodel the sick bay?" The three stood silently, finally Starfire spoke.

"The Beast wanted to do some remodeling," she said silently. Beast Boy's eyes opened wide. It came back to him now-some of it at least. He could feel The Beast's pain. Not his physical pain, but the pain sitting within his heart. It had been heavy and burdensome. He could feel The Beast attempting to carry him somewhere, anywhere but where he was, yearning for something that felt like a physical necessity; something so craved for that The Beast ached for its presence. He remembered smelling very faint hints of lavender and herbal tea and now he too ached and craved for the same being The Beast did. Beast Boy, he was there. He felt it, smelled it, wanted it, and now remembered it.

"I created a serum to bring you back after The Beast takes over. It isn't perfect yet, but I'm close. After seeing what this did, I think I know the last ingredient, and just where to get it. Then I can give you the serum in smaller doses and in pill form. After a few months, it will be like he was never there," Cyborg told him, pulling the boy out of his trance.

"What? Oh. That's, uh, that's great," Beast Boy said. He rubbed his head now. "I don't feel so hot," he concluded, cuing everyone's departure.

The sun rose now over Jump City. Beast Boy could see it through the two holes The Beast-no, he and The Beast-had created. He thought of Raven again along with the strength of The Beast, knowing he could not let either of them go. And in that moment, a little bird created a nest upon his head, a plan, one which he would not shoo away.

**More on the way(: Leave a review for me if you could! Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 20: Pondering Weak & Weary

******Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, there is a ********trigger warning******** for this chapter. I warn you that the content is quite heavy, but not for the self harm aspect (but the ********trigger warning******** is still there for that as well).**

Chapter 20: Pondering Weak & Weary

_Back in the dimension of Ho'kee._

Raven fluttered her eyes as she awoke, groaning as she did so while the chains swayed when she shifted her weight. She held her breath as if that would be able to stop the pain.

"Another Earth day has passed," Malchior stated flatly. With all of his knowledge, it was easy for him to tell time (after all, he knew that he had been trapped for a thousand years when Raven first found him, right?). In response to his words, Raven pushed the back of her arm firmly on to the rough, gritty, uneven wall behind her where she had been chained. Finally, a drop of blood fell on the ground next to her left foot in a spot of its own, each drop separated far enough apart so that she could distinguish how many there were. She began counting.

"Twenty-four," she said in her monotone. Twenty-four days of hell. Twenty-four days of fighting with no seen end. Twenty-four days since she had seen sunshine. Since she had seen a real face. Since she had control over herself. She reflected on all of this as her broken ribs screamed at her in agony and the once haven between her legs ached in pain.

"Your body is looking quite disgusting," Malchior said viciously, pulling Raven out of her trance. She moved her head down as best she could, holding her breath in pain again, scanning over her legs. Many of the scars she placed on her body crept to the surface. The more energy Slade drained her from her, the less energy she had to mask her scars.

"Maybe it will keep him away from me," she said, sounding indifferent.

She screamed the first three times the metal faced man came on to her, horrified by the state of his body: the bruises, the burns, the slashes on his arms and legs, and the chunks of his flesh that had looked like they had been ripped off. She fought with all her feeble body's might, as Malchior cowardly stayed in his book in hopes to drown out her cries of pain (and continued to do so), but Slade was still stronger. On the fourth time, and then on, she stayed silent, not trying to fight the inevitable, knowing her situation was becoming more and more hopeless as she grew weaker and he stronger. Those were the times she had almost given up; when she was so driven to have him kill her-she had even planned it all out, telling him that he would have all of her energy for the rest of his life if he ended her. But every time he broke one of her bones, gave her a black eye, or robbed her of her innocence on the cold floor, the girl looked over at the small green doll sitting on the large computer network.

Malchior told her that the "green one" was not worth the fight, that all of her friends had probably forgotten about her to begin with, "Who would want to be friends with a creepy girl like you, anyway?" he said on more than one occasion, going on to say that Beast Boy was unable to be grateful for her sacrifices, and that she should indeed just off herself (as he had wanted to do to her for so long). Many times had Malchior made sense to Raven; many times had she wanted to give in to not only his pleas, but the pleas of her body. That sliver of hope that the doll gave her, though, it was greater than her pain, whether Beast Boy had truly forgotten about her or not.

Throughout the twenty-four days, her emotions had also become off balance. Knowledge tried to keep everyone afloat, but found herself growing weaker, as did Wisdom. Brave sank deeper and deeper into a pit of her own despair. Happiness had it worse than the rest of them, fading away faster and faster as the days went on. Rage roamed as a lion, seeking to devour any emotion that stood in her way, while Sadness and Fear were forced to be her slaves. Raven tried to get them under control as best she could, craving a cut like never before, sending her into frenzies of blackouts, waking up covered in bruises from the wall, having the opposite effect she wanted in the first place. She feared that her emotions would take over, but felt nothing but Rage, Sadness and Fear, therefore deciding to try to not feel anything at all. It only had been working slightly, but this too was damaging. If she was fully successful, all of her emotions would die, and therefore she would be a shell with no energy or powers at all.

"Keep him away from you? Ha," scoffed the mummy-like figure, "the more weakness in you he sees, the more he will... want you. This is all ludicrous, you know, you trying to keep hope. I have calculated every outcome and you escaping-much less living-has not been a solution-not even when he becomes weak. You will be long gone at this rate," he began his daily nag. He stopped when Raven screamed out in suffering. The EEGs taped to her body began shocking her intensely for what seemed to be hours on end (but in reality, was close to three to five minutes).

"He grows stronger by the day," Malchior started again once the electrocution of her body stopped, knowing that Slade was using his beloved powers. Malchior went on and on about how much of a low life human (not even human) Raven was, and how she should just give up living because no one in the world was capable of missing such a dreadful being. She tried to drown him out, but still, his words affected her every day, her heart breaking as she started to believe them. He was extracting every flaw she had when he shut his mouth as abruptly as the door to hell crept open. The Devil was back.

******Thanks for reading! I know this chapter was heavy, so I'm sorry. Next chapter, we're back with the Titans. Thanks for all the views and comments; they always make me want to update earlier. (:**


	22. Chapter 21: A Cents Of Good Fortune

******Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Also, everything that is in italics is a flashback.**

Chapter 21: A Cents Of Good Fortune

_Titans Tower_

Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg met in the dining room and sat at the table. Being 8 o'clock in the morning without the alarms going off, Beast Boy remained in his room.

"I'm worried about him, Man," Cyborg spoke, starting the conversation about Beast Boy's behavior since Raven's disappearance.

"I too am the worried. Beast Boy has had the temper more and more the longer friend Raven is missing. Boyfriend Robin and I have had no luck in tracking... him..." Starfire let her voice lower as her sentence passed.

"We'll find him, Starfire, it's just a matter of time before Slade slips up," Robin said.

"But how much time? It has been almost a month since Raven was taken and-"

"Twenty-four days," a stone cold voice came from behind the three, it was coming from the kitchen, "twenty-four days..." his voice trailed off, obviously angry that the half demon had yet to be found.

"You're up early, B," Cyborg said, trying to relieve the tension.

"Couldn't get much sleep last night," Beast Boy replied indifferently, but remembered the events well.

_His training with The Beast had been going well. The child was able to control the monster within, use the monster for a gain they would both enjoy: the safety of_The One_. It had been a rocky road at first. Beast Boy had tried to come through in The Beast's mind, but thoughts of _The One_over took everything. Finally, after two weeks of discipline, The Beast was able to understand his new master's plan. After such realization, Beast Boy's mind was able to pop through to The Beast's body, whose animal senses were more finely tuned than the boy's on his own._

_Beast Boy kept what he was doing under lock and key-at first with little success, breaking a wall or two to make his way out of the tower, which certainly did not go unnoticed by his friends. They all had assumed that with Raven missing, their green friend had little control over The Beast's appearances. Cyborg became so worried that he created pills for his "Green Bean" to take daily, so as to ward off the monster inside of him._

_"I've been working on this for a while," the part robot had said, "ever since that... other time. Take one of these a day and it will keep _it _dormant." Beast Boy thanked his best friend and proceeded to his room where he threw the pills into one of his drawers. They hadn't a clue that _it _was his secret weapon._

_Beast Boy's first sign of success in progress with The Beast was when he was able to take back his own body in time to make it back to the tower without the team knowing. He ended up in a back alley a time, or five, before he was able to get the hang of everything, but for Raven, he would do anything-and to him, he was doing everything._

_It was the twenty-third night now since his beloved Raven flew out of his life. His search in the city had ended many days before this particular one, after realizing that going over already covered ground would do him no good. No, that was for Robin to do. Beast Boy was sick of chasing his tail around in meaningless circles._

_He would venture out past the bright lights, heading north one night, then a little farther that direction the next, before turning his sights else where. His nose had smelled every rose, every rat, every rock in sight (and out) without any luck. Finally, though, The Beast smelled _The One_._

_The Beast ran faster and faster, the smell of lilac and herbal tea inflaming his nose as his bliss and hope increased more and more with every piece of ground he covered. Eventually the scent just stopped in the middle of the woods. The Beast was overcome in fury and disappointment, crying out a roar to the wind. Scared the rage of the monster would over take his thoughts, Beast Boy came back, sending The Beast back to his cage. The green boy threw himself on the lush grass, brought his legs up to his chest and buried his head in his misery._

_He lifted his face for a moment, then, and proceeded soaking up the light of the full moon. This was when he noticed that the stream of light slightly twinkled on something to his right. He arose and bent over to pick the object up. It was small, round, made of copper, and through its harsh stench, he could smell herbal tea and lilacs-even without the help of The Beast._

_"We never run out of luck," he whispered._

******Hope you liked this chapter! The flashback will quickly (really quickly) end, then "real time" will start back up in the next chapter. Hope everyone has enjoyed! More to come; leave me a review if you could :) I was having a hard time with the next chapter and school started back up, but I'm hoping to get it done soon. This is my last year, so I have to do a lot. Just don't leave me! Thank you guys so much!**


	23. Chapter 22: Bird & Devil

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Trigger warning. Also, this is a continuation of the last chapter, so this scene is taking place where the rest of the Titans are (to begin with at least).**

Chapter 22: Bird & Devil

_Beast Boy felt around the object in his hands before slipping it into his pocket. Oh yes-he had altered his clothing so that when The Beast emerged, he did not look like he was wearing rags._

_Using his brain, the green one broke off a small tree, sticking it in the ground where he found what he deemed to be his new saving grace. After doing so, he made his way back to the tower, where he would remain awake for the rest of the night and well into morning._

"Dudes, think I found something that can help us," Beast Boy said suddenly, buttering his toast as his team looked at him, embarrassed that he had walked in on them discussing him. Beast Boy, however, acted as if nothing happened.

"What do you mean?" Robin asked.

"Where did you do the finding of it?" Starfire asked.

"What is it?" Cyborg asked, completing their round of questions. Beast Boy put his toast on the table, then took a seat. As he took a bit, he reached into his pocket, taking out his saving grace.

"A penny? Man, you found a penny? How the hell is that going to help us?" Cyborg asked, astonished and annoyed.

"I think what friend Cyborg means-" Starfire was stopped.

"I know what he means, Star. This isn't just any penny. It's Raven's penny, Dude. The one I gave her. You know, the day the world was supposed to end."

"How do you know that this is friend Raven's?" Starfire asked, all looking quizzically at the toast eater. Beast Boy blushed before replying.

"It smells like her," he said, pushing his finished plate in front of him. Cyborg's lips turned into a sly smile and was ready to speak before Robin intervened.

"Okay, let's say this is Raven's penny. What good does that do us if we can't find her?"

"Well, you're the detective, Dude. I can take you all where I found it and we can, I don't know, detect," the green one replied. At this, Robin rubbed the bottom of his chin in thought, deciding whether or not to go with Beast Boy's plan.

"Alright," Robin said in agreement, "you can take us where you found the penny."

"Really?! Sweet, Dude!" Beast Boy exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. "Well, come on, let's go!" The boy ran out of the room. The three arose from their chairs, well behind the green hero.

"Friend Beast Boy is finally feeling the happy again! Isn't this wonderful?" Starfire exclaimed as they walked out the door.

"I don't know, Star. Green Bean could be getting his hopes up for nothing. He is getting his hopes up really high over a penny," Cyborg brought her back down to Earth.

"Do either of you think it's strange that Beast Boy found the penny? I mean, we looked all over the city and he never found a whiff of Raven that gave us any leads. Where could he have gone?" Robin asked skeptically.

"I guess that is a little weird. Maybe BB is just a better detective than you are, Rob," Cyborg joked as Starfire giggled.

"Come on!" Beast Boy said, now seeing them as his arm motioned for them to pick up the pace.

Finally, after a long, long (long) while, Beast Boy pointed to his marking.

"It's right over here," he said.

"Uh, BB. How exactly did you find this place? We looked all over the city you said you couldn't find anything, Man," Cyborg asked.

"I didn't," he replied, "so I looked outside the city."

"When? How?"

"Look, I found it and that's all that matters, Dude. We're wasting time. Raven could be out there right now waiting on us to save her." That ended this particular conversation.

The four gathered around the small, broken tree.

"So you found it here? Exactly?" Robin asked, rubbing the bottom of his chin again.

"Yeah. It was lying there. Heads up."

"Did you get her scent past here?"

"No," Beast Boy hung his head as if admitting defeat.

"Well if Slade-" Robin began, but Starfire interrupted him as a light bulb went off in her brain.

"Boyfriend Robin, instead of thinking like the bad man, why do we not start thinking like friend Raven? She is the one who left the penny. Such actioning is not like her."

"Star is right, Rob," Cyborg backed her up.

"Okay, so Raven left this penny on purpose. Why?"

"To help us help her. So we could bring her back-safe." Beast Boy answered him. Suddenly, a portal-a Raven like portal-opened right next to the broken tree.

"Uh, ya'll saw that too...right?" Cyborg asked.

"Uh huh," Robin shook his head.

"Come friends, we must enter it," Starfire demanded.

"We have no idea what we're up against-" Robin was stopped by Beast Boy.

"When the world- the WORLD- was ending, Raven did EVERYTHING she could to save us. She didn't even hesitate. She-"

"I was going to say, so we need to be careful," Robin ended. Beast Boy simmered. The group stepped into the black oval, one at a time

Once out of the portal, the group noticed that same, eerily beautiful building that Raven had upon her arrival.

"Dude, that's gorgeous," Beast Boy said in awe.

"It looks like a...plantation?" Robin said, quizzically.

"Friends, what is a 'plantation?" Starfire asked innocently. Cyborg began to explain, putting it as plainly as he could.

"...I'd like to think we've come a long way since then, Man," he ended, "but sometimes, I'm not so sure."

"That is...the horrible," Starfire shivered, memories flooding back to her. Robin took her hand at once, damming them up.

"Have any of you noticed that it's, like, dark here? Like, really dark, Dude?" Beast Boy said aloud.

"Well, wherever we are, it's not Jump City," Robin voiced, putting his fingers in lock with this lover.

"We're not on earth at all," Cyborg informed them, tapping on the GPS in his arm.

"How will we get back?" Starfire wondered.

"With Raven," Beast Boy said simply.

"B," Cyborg began slowly and cautiously, "you have to be prepared in case we don't-" Beast Boy, however, cut him off by raising his finger.

"I smell her," said the green boy, "I smell her...her fear. Come on!" he shouted, running toward the plantation like home. Starfire and Cyborg looked at Robin for direction, but he too saw no other choice.

All four met at the front door, armed and ready. Starfire busted open the door, all three boys jumping by her side.

"There is no one here," she said, her eyes ceasing to glow.

"No. She's here. And her fear is getting stronger. She's this way," Beast Boy said, almost coldly.

_Meanwhile, below the four Titans._

Slade had come back from wherever he was when he wasn't with Raven. She could only imagine the damage he did when he was away, and often wondered if he did to other girls what he did to her. It was a thought she couldn't shake. Even if he had, though, it had not satisfied him in the least. He was hungry for her, ready to eat her up like a ravenous wolf. He made much noise, trying to get a reaction out of her, annoyed that she had not given him anything-annoyed that she always lay there lifeless as rag doll.

"SCREAM. MY. NAME!" he shouted at her in anger, shaking her roughly on the cold concrete, the only thing on her body being the EEGs. She stared at him with a blank expression, but she felt Fear grow stronger-the emotion pouring out of her. The metaled man yelled so loudly that the intruders from above heard his cries. Immediately, the demoness, the evil kidnapper, and the coward who was quaking in his book, heard the sound of a door breaking down.

_All together now._

The four Titans ran down the stairs and stopped abruptly at the sight in front of them, stunned. Raven, marks all over her body, naked as a new born child with Slade on top of her, overtaking her. She turned white when she saw them, and desperately scrambled out from underneath the metaled man in hope of finding something to cover the amount of shame that washed over her.

Finally, the whole encounter hit Beast Boy. He went away and The Beast emerged, ready to get his giant paw around the neck of the thing that hurt The One. Normally the team would be worried that The Beast had made its presence, but they, too, felt his pain-it was not as great as his, but there was certainly enough anger and hurt to throw around. And throw around they did.

The Beast walked toward Slade on his two feet with his chest puffed out, claws ready, and a hunger for revenge. Slade tried to use the metal arms he had to electrocute his opponent, but The Beast merely ripped them off. He soon was close enough to Slade to grab him by the head and throw him into the rough wall. After Slade made an attempt to get up, Cyborg shot him with his cannon, Robin with his bombs, and Stafire made green rain from above.

Raven sat near her chains of torture, a dirty towel that was soaked in the blood of her virginity (which Slade kept to remind her who was in charge) so as to cover her body, fixated on what was happening in front of her. She had had dreams and nightmares about this moment, all at one time, but now that it was happening, she found herself in a state of shock and unable to move. The smoke the other four had created had now moved out, though, and Slade had disappeared. They looked around in confusion, then their senses were heightened after they heard Cyborg cry in agony of being shocked.

Slade could feel Raven's fear pour into him, along with sadness. It was like shower upon him that soon become a lightning storm. There was so much power within him that he could not control it. It started backfiring as he felt small jolts of energy in his body. Even still, he became consumed with the thought of the destruction of them all, even if it meant him dying in the process. He held out his hands, no longer needing the tentacles of the suit, and spun around, shocking the four Titans as they lay on the ground spazzing. Raven had seen enough.

In her corner, she grabbed her worn and tattered leotard, and quickly clothed herself with what was left of it. She stood up, shaking Fear off into a small hole. Love perked up. Knowledge stretched her neck above the water she was so sure she would drown in. Sadness broke her chains. Rage stopped pacing, helping them all.

With Rage still very much a part of Raven's emotions, Slade still drew energy from her (for her powers became so strong, he no longer needed the EEG's hooked up to her; he just enjoyed dehuman-err-dedemonizing her). Her leotard had become whole again, white, and complete with a cloak.

"They have not left me," she said, capturing him in her dark energy, "and I will not leave them." She threw him into the large monitor that he had spent so many hours on, shattering the screen. He felt the energy inside him grow stronger, knowing that if he didn't let it out or make it stop, it would be his end. He raised his hand toward her, so as to shock her as he did the others.

"It will not work," she said, picking up the broken glass from the screen and sent it towards him, wanting to make marks on his body like the ones that were on hers. "You no longer control me," he laid there on the floor, as if crippled while she talked, "you will never control me again!" she yelled, her eyes glowing white and her hair now blowing in every direction.

Slade looked around desperately in hopes to find a saving grace while the energy inside him grew and the large screen that was now above him, both were sure to be his demise.

"HIM!" he shouted as his hand waved to over to the voodoo doll of Beast Boy, which was laying across they way, "I will shoot him if you do not surrender!" Slade demanded.

"NO!" Raven shouted. The rest of the Titans were slowly getting up, recovering from their shock therapy, holding their heads while they ached. They woke up to a showdown.

Fear crept out of her hole now, Rage got back out the chains for Sadness, and Knowledge felt the water rise once again. This time, much quicker. Love, though, she seemed to grow bigger than them all-even bigger than Rage. Slade felt the energy within him dim, ever so slightly. Raven's cloak had left her once again, her leotard was blue, now, and tattered.

"I surrender," she said ever so quietly.

"SHE IS NOT YOURS!" Beast Boy (now Beast Boy again since his shocking) shouted. He ran toward Slade, becoming a cheetah now.

"Beast Boy!" Raven screamed his name as he ran toward Slade, in hopes to plead with the green child. Slade hit the doll, but the boy came after him even faster. He fired once again. And again. Beast Boy was finally upon him, giving him blows in the form of a gorilla. After seeing that the doll had no effect on him, Raven's emotions met upon once again in unison, creating her in her purest form. The energy that Slade had taken from her was soon done away with this time, for she knew that he had nothing to blackmail her with anymore. She moved toward him, Beast Boy on top of Slade, now howling and banging his chest with his giant fists in anger as well as delight.

The rest of the team soon joined, bashing, shooting, bombing, hitting, scarring, everything they could do to make the bastard pay. They were forced to stop suddenly, by the hand of the demoness, forcing their bodies to a halt.

"Enough," she said in her monotone. Slade lied on the ground, holding his crotch in agony from where they had all taken turns in destroying, whimpering like a wounded greyhound.

"You will pay for what you have done. You will never take me captive again. You will never put my friends in danger. And you will never, ever come back," Raven said. Below him formed a portal and he was soon sucked in. It was over then, and so was her purity. Her clothes became ratty, and she swooned, almost hitting the floor. Almost.

**More to come as soon as I have the time to write! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Also, I'm sorry if my chapters had looked a little wacky before. Some of my chapters were lost and it took me a long while to fix them. Leave me a review if you could; they are very much enjoyed!**


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